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Dark Poetry #4
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RaBBiT_K
New Member
since 2004-03-28
Posts 7


0 posted 2004-04-07 12:48 PM


I made my mom cry,
I apologize,
But everytime I try,
I stare into her eyes,
And pain is what I spy,

Turn away from me,
Mama can't you see,
I'm pain and misery,
I'm sorry I can't be,
What I was meant to be,

I'm down everyday,
Dark in everyway,
Depression in full sway,
My brain is on delay,
For sins that I can't pay,

Too much evil done,
Too much to outrun,
When demons have their fun,
Then you know that your done,
When you soul weighs a ton,

Mom.. I'm sorry..


© Copyright 2004 RaBBiT_K - All Rights Reserved
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
1 posted 2004-04-07 04:28 PM


kool, i like this, but the rhyming seemed a little forced. I dunno, thats just me/ but the poem was still awesome.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
2 posted 2004-04-07 10:03 PM


this is a very heartfelt write...just let me lapse into my 'mama' mode for a minute....

"im sorry" can be very touching when its sincere, and i know that moms have an infinite capacity to love their children (even though we dont always know the right way to show it).....you've written something very touching here...I hope you show this to her

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418
Earth
3 posted 2004-04-30 07:35 PM


woooooow....this poem is fantastic....i truly loved it...its amazing.....i feel what ur says sis....well thank u soo much for this wonderful poem..may i say save it??pleaseeeeeeeeee...well cya and thanks again
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