navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Mental skip
Dark Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Mental skip Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Paragon
Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 114


0 posted 2004-04-05 01:06 PM



this unrelenting mental cry like a
scratched cd skipping continually
I can't stop the sound of your voice
I can't drown out the noise
repeating over and over in my mind
and again I can't dull the noise
Close my eyes, try to block the tears
all your shattered lies revealed
can't block the images from coming
all the effort spent, all the love given
all the wasted youthful years
sorrow and death loom overhead
like a black starless sky without hope
I can taste the coppery tang of crimson streams
a bitter omen impaling all of my dreams
I once had for continuity for you and I
the regret streaming down my cheeks
burns with an acrid scent like acid
I have no desire to continue this
this rhythmic breath, this pulsing blood
this life I lead, not without us
not without you...

© Copyright 2004 Paragon - All Rights Reserved
Mt Rowley
Junior Member
since 2004-01-06
Posts 25
United Kingdom
1 posted 2004-04-05 03:12 PM


relative, liked it a lot.

Im new to poetry if you liked it please tell me what you think of my other stuff

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-04-06 12:33 PM


Nice Write

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

toxic_outroar
New Member
since 2004-03-22
Posts 6

3 posted 2004-04-06 12:46 PM


Many can relate to the feeling, i sure know i can.
armanca
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211
Tennessee
4 posted 2004-04-16 01:59 AM


" can taste the coppery tang of crimson streams
a bitter omen impaling all of my dreams"

I like this part.  Great piece.  I have been gone from these forums for awhile now.  I came back looking around, and I found yours to be one of the only ones I read so far that spoke to me.

Thank you.

River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
5 posted 2004-04-16 12:28 PM


ooh I like this, it has rythm and rhyme...and it's also very sad. my kind of write, very nice, good job! =)

        - River

sleep my precious slumber

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Mental skip

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary