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Dark Poetry #4
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Beaches (revised some)
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Beaches (revised some) |
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Starsfalling Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 94some where deep in the shadows |
One moment Upon the beach Looking deep Within crystalline blue eyes No words spoken None were ever needed Sand beneath and clouds above This stormy beach rolls along Hand within hand We stroll Crashing waves blends shuddering thunder Into background noise Intense rapture Eye to eye love passes between Together forever in Eternal happiness Slight breezes Play with your hair A smile spreads slightly Upon my face Knowing your pure beauty Lasts even after waking Images hazy Sliding and stretching Your face remains unchanged As my perfect happiness Reality snaps back A curious deceit this fantasy realm Falling back to conscious Knowing a shared dream Will soon return well critique it please... i need it -lance There is no peace among the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting gods |
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| © Copyright 2004 Lance Keber - All Rights Reserved | |||
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loner187 Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 106Upstate New York |
Oh My God! That is so well written, so beautiful and surrene. You use great imagery in this piece. I love it! Thanks a lot, I really needed somehting like this! -Amanda p.s. great job! "Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I"m not good at critique but I will say that I like this |
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Starsfalling Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 94some where deep in the shadows |
thank you amanda! im glad you liked it There is no peace among the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting gods |
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Starsfalling Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 94some where deep in the shadows |
thank you tons a passing shadow... im happy you enjoyed it -lance There is no peace among the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting gods |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
for a moment there i was about to ask "what are you doing posting this in dark, it's too happy and sweet" but when i got close to the end i knew what was coming...sometimes love happens and sometimes it's just a dream, your right, and i thought you expressed this well. good job. - River sleep my precious slumber |
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