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Dark Poetry #4
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Mask
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Mask |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
I see you every day you smile bright and walk away But I see the mask you wear I know the pain you feel you cry, you live in fear sometimes it's just so hard to deal in the shadows of the lonely hallow night you scream: 'Somebody help me!!! this life as Jek' & Hyde is fooling all who see... the real me silently screams at night violently dreams inside I just wanna be me I just wanna be free Just take it off take the mask away a touchy fused bomb lies to all with the happy face hiding whats wrong making me sick of all the endless todays dreading the morning dawn breaking down at the evening song somebody help me... this life as pretender is fooling all who hear oh i want to remember life as i once held it dear cuz now I can't sleep at night I feel empty inside I just wanna be me I just wanna be free' ...stop wearing the mask just take it off the shell of torment of present past just take it off hush, sleep at night inside feel right take it off be free. sleep my precious slumber |
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| © Copyright 2004 Bonnie Sue Bixler - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Paper Tiger Member
since 2003-09-28
Posts 77 |
This is a great poem, and I like the subject of "the masks we wear." The structure could've been a bit better, but the way you put the words...nicely done! |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
i love this bit Just take it off take the mask away a touchy fused bomb lies to all with the happy face hiding whats wrong making me sick of all the endless todays dreading the morning dawn breaking down at the evening song love it!! great job river LOR In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
Paper Tiger - thanx, i admit it is prolly a little sloppy cuz of the rhyme scheme, lol silhouetted - thanx, ya, i think that was my fave part too =) sleep my precious slumber |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
"I see you every day you smile bright and walk away But I see the mask you wear I know the pain you feel you cry, you live in fear sometimes it's just so hard to deal in the shadows of the lonely hallow night you scream:" I liked this part the best. It stood out alot to me. Too many poeple wear masks, and arent who they really are, if that makes any sense. The ending was great. ~Vampire Kisses  I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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