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Dark Poetry #4
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River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world

0 posted 2004-02-20 03:10 PM



I see you every day
you smile bright and walk away
But I see the mask you wear
I know the pain you feel
you cry, you live in fear
sometimes it's just so hard to deal
in the shadows of the lonely hallow night
you scream:

'Somebody help me!!!
this life as Jek' & Hyde
is fooling all who see...
the real me silently screams at night
violently dreams inside
I just wanna be me
I just wanna be free

Just take it off
take the mask away
a touchy fused bomb
lies to all with the happy face
hiding whats wrong
making me sick of all the endless todays
dreading the morning dawn
breaking down at the evening song

somebody help me...
this life as pretender
is fooling all who hear
oh i want to remember
life as i once held it dear
cuz now I can't sleep at night
I feel empty inside
I just wanna be me
I just wanna be free'

...stop wearing the mask
just take it off
the shell of torment
of present past
just take it off
hush, sleep at night
inside feel right
take it off
be free.

sleep my precious slumber

© Copyright 2004 Bonnie Sue Bixler - All Rights Reserved
Paper Tiger
Member
since 2003-09-28
Posts 77

1 posted 2004-02-20 03:56 PM


This is a great poem, and I like the subject of "the masks we wear."  The structure could've been a bit better, but the way you put the words...nicely done!
silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-02-21 06:14 PM


i love this bit

Just take it off
take the mask away
a touchy fused bomb
lies to all with the happy face
hiding whats wrong
making me sick of all the endless todays
dreading the morning dawn
breaking down at the evening song

love it!!

great job river

LOR

In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel

River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
3 posted 2004-02-21 06:31 PM


Paper Tiger - thanx, i admit it is prolly a little sloppy cuz of the rhyme scheme, lol


silhouetted - thanx, ya, i think that was my fave part too =)

sleep my precious slumber

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
4 posted 2004-02-21 07:28 PM


"I see you every day
you smile bright and walk away
But I see the mask you wear
I know the pain you feel
you cry, you live in fear
sometimes it's just so hard to deal
in the shadows of the lonely hallow night
you scream:"

I liked this part the best. It stood out alot to me.
Too many poeple wear masks, and arent who they really are, if that makes any sense.
The ending was great.

~Vampire Kisses  

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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