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Dark Poetry #4
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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-02-19 11:40 PM


Ungrateful glance,
A smile or smirk,
Battered child,
Face down in the dirt,
Pressure of peers,
Pushed to the limit,
Wildness takes over,
Thoughts Illicit,
Eyes full of malice,
Yet underneath,
A wounded person,
Pulls on a sheath,
Child takes cover,
Man up to bat,
Which one will he be?
When his parents come back?
Temples are pulsing,
Rage in his mind,
Grief, Remorse and Sorrow,
Are them left behind,
A cry of loss,
Now he’s ashamed,
Now he remembers,
Suffering same insane pain,
Another boy teasing,
He starts to fret,
Another boy pushing,
Now he forgets,
Fought for no cause,
Wounded in battle,
No one to remember,
The tale he once tattled,
Domino’s hit,
A chain reaction,
Set off in his muscles,
Time to take action.

Now he’s number one,
On the most wanted list,
No one remembers,
The kid who was dissed.

I saw him steal the light away  
     That haunted in her eye
It went so gently none could say
More than it was there one day
     And missing

© Copyright 2004 Courtney - All Rights Reserved
darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
1 posted 2004-02-19 11:52 PM


hey
its good
i just think the rhyme was forced and me personally i prefer un rhymying poetry. but i liked it

it just didnt really tickle me fancy.
yawn thats just me tho aye

who cares it was good and i liked the break at the end

keep rockin

darkness

You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
2 posted 2004-02-19 11:54 PM


Hmmm... I like this. The rhyming is amazing. I can relate to it easily. Verwy good verwy good. ~lol~

Vampire Kisses  

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
3 posted 2004-02-20 12:25 PM


I must apologize for the title. Joe was a replacement for the real title. I was just going to preview my poem then put in a new title till i clicked submit instead of preview. I'm sorry, maybe im not, its a crack-up, "Joe" lol.

However long the night, the dawn will break.

Vagabond
Member
since 2004-01-23
Posts 163

4 posted 2004-02-26 08:21 AM


shivering

Vagabon the Lost One

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