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Dark Poetry #4
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silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-02-26 08:16 PM



I hear you
but i can't see you
and as i try to clear my vision
more and more smoky haze builds between you and me

If only you would go away
then everything would be clear again
and i could walk freely through these doors
and turn out safe on the other side

My eyes now hurt
from the stress and pressure of a million tears
blinded by your lies and your beauty
i just followed you through my own worst dream

how was i so stupid?
if you had a reason to hurt me, i surely would have seen
but the alias of your image
took over and i fell deeply into your clutch

this is the part that hurts the most
out of all your indulging torture
this is the hardest thing to have over you
the thought of leaving you behind

i know it must be done
but my body has had enough pain
and my eyes have cried enough tears
to last any more moments with you

The wind breathes in my words
and my hands begin to release my jacket
and my legs begin to relax and walk over to you
even though the haze is still smoking my eyes

i can see you now
even though the awkward haze still hovers between us
you try to smile in resistance
but i dont want you anymore

Please dont let me walk away
please dont let me tell you goodbye
if only you would go away
then i wouldnt have to cry another tear

In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel

© Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved
darkstar
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230
Port Richey, Fl, USA
1 posted 2004-02-26 08:46 PM


nice...
darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
2 posted 2004-02-26 09:45 PM


once again you write my emotion perfectly.

loved it

amazing. not asd amazing as the one u wrote for m n b but i really really felt this one.

My eyes now hurt
from the stress and pressure of a million tears
blinded by your lies and your beauty
i just followed you through my own worst dream

love that bit the most.

we all know that feeling too well.... also the stress and pressure of a million tears waiting to come right.

i hate that feeling.

love you for everything youve done and everything you havent. missing you like crazy laura. everyone is.

you know who to call.

darkness

You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
3 posted 2004-02-26 09:53 PM


silhouetted- sweet, sad, heartfelt, nicely penned.
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
4 posted 2004-02-26 10:32 PM


Ahh.. wow. I like this. It is very sad, but very beautiful at the same time. Amazin work, as always! ~lol~

~Vampire Kisses

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-03-22 04:27 AM


how well I can understand this!!!
River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
6 posted 2004-03-25 03:56 PM


hmmm...i very much liked this. there where a few areas that i think could be worked on but i'm not sure if they are enough of an issue to point out. other than that, it's great!

      - River

sleep my precious slumber

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418
Earth
7 posted 2004-04-23 11:52 AM


wow...i know its too late but this poemm was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gr88 i love all ur poems ...u have soo much talent...well keep it upp.. loveeee
muahzzzzzz

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
8 posted 2004-04-23 12:02 PM


Nice words, but I had a hard time understanding the over all poetry.
Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
9 posted 2004-04-23 09:23 PM


I don't why I haven't replied to this astounding piece of your artistic creation, which I feel particularly understanding towards. (I don't know f that makes any sense...???)
I believed you in this...really great work.

Monumental, Poignant and fathomable.
Keep it up lovie.

Hollow

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
10 posted 2004-04-30 09:27 AM


this is amazing, i actually feel like this right now, the emotion and the imageryt is fantastic... keep up the writing...
Mel

so this is me but what do you care about that????
i am who i am. no one can change that but me, even then it will be a fight to the death

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