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eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys

0 posted 2004-02-05 01:24 AM



About sacrifice, I am not
so sure now.  A river falls or rises
according to what leaves

or enters it.
But sacrifice is not the river.  Compassion
is not what leaves.  For what enters,

I have many names-I’d decide if I could,
if I were meant to.  There’s an instinct
that is rare but does occur in humans,

the ones who themselves feel
no different-it’s any hour,
forgettable- as they turn toward the work

whose power will break them
eventually, and make their name.
I turn everywhere,

I see shapes by which
a holiness declares itself more
and more, as if to be noticed

were all it wants of me.  The body,
for example, in a cloud
or mayflies stalled briefly in a light

that passes now: now the moon-
now the stars appearing, choir-like,
with a choir’s tendency to make

the soloist at once seem lonelier,
and more complete. I'm not reckless.
I'd comply, if I could.  In a dream,

there's a choice: precious freight,
or the barge that carries it,
or the water without which a barge

can at first seem nothing. I choose the water,
I choose with a wisdom that looks effortless
because it is.  It's that kind of dream.

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

© Copyright 2004 matt cockrell - All Rights Reserved
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
1 posted 2004-02-05 10:35 AM


I havn't been on in a while but I'm glad I didn't miss this one.  Nice write.

GIS

a trickle of music fromm a well
let it spill and roar like hell

[...see a lot up there but don't be scared.  Who needs actions when we got words?]

Jelfling
Junior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 21
Indiana
2 posted 2004-02-05 12:26 PM


I really liked this poem, it touched me.
darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
3 posted 2004-02-05 06:53 PM


AMAZING

probably one of your best poems (thats ive ever read)

wow

intense

You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
4 posted 2004-02-05 06:54 PM


thanks guys for reading!

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA
5 posted 2004-02-06 10:48 AM


I really can't place your structure, but I don't really care, in this instance. It's just a really good write. Do you think I say "really" enough?

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
6 posted 2004-02-06 03:47 PM


=) my name must be populer hee hee...i liked this one a lot eor!...i think me u and GIS should post more. *nods in confermation* anywho, later dude.

   - River

rest upon existence. seek life,  
and forever never die.

Mad_Hatter
Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
Canada
7 posted 2004-02-10 07:34 PM


This all seems very original to me, though the structure is a little confusing at times, but the words are so captivating that it doesn't really matter.  I like it alot.
cusick
Senior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 668

8 posted 2004-02-11 05:49 AM


Eor I have not been around for a while but I see that you have not lost your touch, We all have choices some just choose the wrong way, Impressed. Maggie

[This message has been edited by cusick (02-13-2004 03:48 PM).]

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
9 posted 2004-02-12 06:54 PM


I see a lotof insight, and personal growth surfacing in this piece.
I liked it, it had different kind of inconsistancy to it. But that made me like it more.
Great thoughts.
~Lex (off to ponder)

mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

10 posted 2004-02-29 06:30 PM


Hey eor, haven't been around for awhile. I enjoyed the write. But the ending....

can at first seem nothing. I choose the water,
I choose with a wisdom that looks effortless
because it is.  It's that kind of dream.

because it is, great stuff, or like that beer commercial, BRILLIANT!! See you around man.

wayne

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

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