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Dark Poetry #4
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NightFall
Member
since 2004-01-28
Posts 88
The land known as England

0 posted 2004-02-02 01:13 PM


Walking fast, dont look back
The sky is dark, the nights pitch black
Running, shouting, screaming
Faster, louder, sharper
In to my house, creeping like a mouse
Your mouth is dry, your eyes are dark,
I ask you why?
Hmmmmmmm i dony really know what this one means.

© Copyright 2004 Cheryl Jones - All Rights Reserved
eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
1 posted 2004-02-05 12:50 PM


"Hmmmmmmm i dony really know what this one means."

i dont know if this is supposed to be part of the poem, but i dont think it is, if it is not, you shouldent include this like this.  you opinion after the poem.  first of all that is for the reader to figure out, and it just seems like you are trying to explain your work, which is never necessary.

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

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