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Dark Poetry #4
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Asian Rain
Member
since 2003-10-11
Posts 73


0 posted 2004-01-16 12:24 PM



"Water child, I bring you
chrysanthemums, ripe pears,
coloured ribbons to tie up my prayers
You live, still, floating in some sunless sea
out of reach out of reach"
(from Water Children by Ellen Jaffe)

In this bleak chapel of chromium light
cold as steel and sharp
as a blade
oiled in blood from some deep wound,
I slip through poured shapes
coil sprung
and dark as rage

From protesting flesh,
hollowed out and blackened in,
a blank face only wanting breath
becomes the bruise
that never mends and stains
the corridor of life.

Where green once grew
in skins of water,
white hands tear the sacrifice.
The sun grows blue in dying things,
for stones are rarely loved.

But piece by piece,
a sleeping flower,
I'll reassemble black to white
from torn moth wings,
restitch my soul to eternity
for blood redeems
in sunless seas out of reach,
out of reach of all dark things.

© Copyright 2004 Asian Rain - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2004-01-16 02:21 PM


AsianRain~
I so enjoyed your poetic thoughts in this write~
You are an excellent writer ... thank you for sharing~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><
<EMAIL>noles1@totcon

Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
2 posted 2004-01-16 02:58 PM


Wow. What amazingly powerful imagery.  I loved how alive this poem is - you could almost touch it.  Wonderful write.
River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
3 posted 2004-01-16 04:32 PM


wow Asia, this is awesome, I love it! keep up the good work!

      - River

rest upon existence. seek life,  
and forever never die.

Gothika_07
Member
since 2004-01-15
Posts 61
new zealand
4 posted 2004-01-16 04:39 PM


that was excellent!
i loved the passion and the style of your writing.
xxgothikaxx

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
5 posted 2004-02-01 11:43 PM


Great Style!!!!
Enjoyed!!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


Jelfling
Junior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 21
Indiana
6 posted 2004-02-02 11:43 AM


I agree, this was a really great poem. How long did it take you to write this?
eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
7 posted 2004-02-03 12:09 PM


read you e-mail

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA
8 posted 2004-02-06 10:59 AM


That is really beautiful. This is a piece I can forget I am reading. It flows so smoothly and the images are so enthralling. This is how I would always wish to write.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA
9 posted 2004-02-06 11:01 AM


I've done it again. I forgot to add this to my library (as I do with poems I wish to read again), so now I have to reply a second time, just to click the button. Sorry for the clutter.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

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