navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Watching
Dark Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Watching Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

0 posted 2004-01-06 01:29 PM



Watching

I am watching and there is
white closing in at
the edges now
so fast so soon and

by the time you
and flecks of some color
bluered watching I watch
how   so fast

time you read this
white closing cold like
snow in the dark

by the
seeing smaller it
is details  tiny
blue redblack tiny

read this I
white like
     cold
andgreen how
how is there green

I wil
        can’t
not expect

    green

is closing
how

© Copyright 2004 James A. Fraser - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2004-01-06 03:44 PM


The first couple of reads through this, I felt as though I was in free fall... but maybe I just stepped onto the Tilt-a-Whirl where the colors swirl more with every spin.

This is breathtaking... and edgy... and absolutely excellent!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2004-01-06 07:57 PM


Jamie...When I first read this, I thought of the sky...and then I thought of the colors I see when I close my eyes. A very interesting ride with you...a little scary but still the color imagery was beautiful.  
Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
3 posted 2004-01-08 12:11 PM


very magical, and full of color, it's like looking into a kaleidoscope
Shereen
Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 57
Michigan, USA
4 posted 2004-01-08 11:52 AM


I too, felt the "free fall"... Great ride.
Shereen.

Ixxi
Member
since 2004-01-02
Posts 77
England
5 posted 2004-01-08 05:23 PM


I found it frightening in a way.. It had this amazing effect that I have never experienced before. The fact that it's so powerful without being over-descriptive kind of struck me as frightening too. Whoa. It's great. Amazing stuff.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Watching

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary