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Dark Poetry #4
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Sikanda
Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54


0 posted 2003-12-30 04:05 PM



"Done"

Mizunderstood
living in a daze
a fog
half-crazed
confused
untied
broken-
I tried

Mizunderstood
I lose
undone
abused
Take from me
what you want
life
is no longer
fun-
I cried

Mizunderstood
no end
promises
left unfulfilled
black mood
You won-
empty voices
in my head
So much
left denied

I'm done-

* This poem is a product of an over-caffienated extremely sleepy mind. I really like the rhythym of the poem however. Tell me what you think...


© Copyright 2003 Sikanda - All Rights Reserved
wintertao
Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL
1 posted 2003-12-30 05:04 PM


nice I likes !
Necro Draconis
Member
since 2000-05-19
Posts 115

2 posted 2003-12-31 03:31 PM


I like different, and that it is. Excellent

We spend our whole lives trying to live, only to realize that we don’t know what life is truly about until it is too late.


choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
3 posted 2004-01-01 02:30 PM


Yes, the rhythm was the first thing I felt immediately...the content works for me also...~C
Sikanda
Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54

4 posted 2006-08-05 12:03 PM


good news everyone! I entered this poem in an online contest and it was picked yay! Still waiting for word on if its in the finals...

oh I entered it under a friends name so if you see this poem slightly different published somewhere - its still mine k?

MindBodySoul
Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196
NJ
5 posted 2007-01-22 05:09 PM


wow... nicely said  even in the state of mind you were in.  Sometimes the best creations happen  when you least expect them.

MindBodySoul

Jen--->MindBodySoul

RavenSmith
Member
since 2007-03-02
Posts 53
Oregon
6 posted 2007-03-02 11:40 PM


I liked the rhythm in your poem too. I especially liked your topic.

Boy, does that plaque man and I know it all too well. Learning to not want to be understood is a lovely freeing thing and I am starting to get good at it but untilits mastered some form of linger with empty will endure.  

~Best Regards,Raven Smith

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