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Dark Poetry #4
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BabieDoll
Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268
BFE

0 posted 2003-12-22 04:22 PM


I posted this poem a while ago but it was removed for content. So, since I want comments, I will edit it...email me if you want the original poem.

The time has come for me to strip myself bare;
To let my skeletons out in the open and
Let them walk about and stretch,
Let them cope with reality instead of hiding
In that [ edited ] closet!
To face life like they should have long ago...

I unzip and climb out of my skin like a costume,
So that every part you see it truly me;
There is no more staying in the shadows.
I'm on a journey,
A trechorous one that might take years...
To find who I really am
And to learn from my mistakes.

I'm so sick and tired of the way I'm portrayed!
You say I want pity, that I only care for myself
When half of the ways you claim me to be
You are yourself, if not worse!
Look in the mirror, you hypocrits!
You may call me a [ edited ] but you know you are worse!
Don't judge me like you know me...
You know NOTHING!

I want to show all of you my true colors.
I want you to see I am no different than you...
Or you...or you...
I'm just an easy target for those who strive to be strongest,
Pointing out all of your flaws in me.
I'm not the manipulative one...you are;
And you feel like [ edited ], so it's MY fault...

Well, I'm done trying to be like mainstream society;
The typical teenage girl with her petty problems!
I'm done with my 'friends' who betray me and lie
But then make it out to be my causing!
I'm done being stomped on, kicked and walked all over!
We all make mistakes in our lifetime,
And even though you've done far worse than I, I'm labeled!...
While you walk around like a [ edited ] saint!

I'm stripped down and I have nothing more,
So judge me now on what I really am;
Not what I'm perceived to be...*

*¤§¤*You are born helpless...and you die helpless...*¤§¤*

© Copyright 2003 J.Lynn - All Rights Reserved
Ringo
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Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
1 posted 2003-12-22 04:52 PM


"You may call me a child but you know you are worse"


"You feel like hell, so it's my fault"

Other than these two suggestions, the write is good, and an emotion-filled powerhouse without needing the swears...

Cause in my dreams it's always there
The evil face that twists my mind
And brings me to despair.

Laney
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 85
Illinois
2 posted 2003-12-23 02:55 AM


Ahhh, "Mainstream society"  yeah that can be a "edited"  but I can remember those drama filled days, hell half of my poems are still expressing some burdens from those days inside of me.  Good Personal write, looking forward to reading more of yours.  Excellent piece.  


"you are born ready to be helped, and you die knowing you helped someone"

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