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Dark Poetry #4
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Your song
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Your song |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
Let it play loud in your ears Let it tingle your senses. I hope it emptys your thoughts Chases away your reservations Play it loud Blast it in your boom-box Hopefully you will hear what i hear Or will you? Maybe your disease Is too strong Or maybe your too weak But I've said it once I hope it helps Your own song set on 'repeat' You want me to sing it again? "I love you." I'll scream it loud Whisper it quietly at night Whatever it takes To make you better *NOTE: This one is just a short one I did quickly. I like the concept, but maybe not the content. Any ideas to make it better please share! I obviously need all the help I can get. Oh and I know it shouldnt be in Dark Poetry but This is where you guys are, my freinds, so I prefer to post it in a place where I feel safe. thanx- darkness* You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson |
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| © Copyright 2004 Sophie A Ryan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
I agree the concept was really good but the content maybe not i dnt no y cuz usually ur dnt write like that ur mor dark and expressive i am kinda confused....ud htink that u and bj dumped u ud be more i duno expressive, but u were more wenu guys were togetha now ur writing about love as if you are in a relationship shows how bad bj musta been.... im JUST saying but i think wen ur in a more dark stage re-write that one k chica? ROCK IT(lol) LOR In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
From what i'm getting, it goes a lil sumtin like this: bj and you broke up, and now you are writing about how much you love him, and while you guys were going out you were more dark with your poetry???? I dunno. I liked this. The poem was amazin' a little different from your usual, but change is sumtimes a good ting, right? I dunno. Hope that whole guy thing gets better soon. I like your old, darker more intense poetry better, but thats just me. But this is also good. ~Vampire Kisses  I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
I understand how you feel about posting it here! Gee love, it is way totally different (that make sense?) from your normal writing, i can't quite get what you're feeling right now.....i mean i thought since you broke up with bj youd be all dark and stuff....but now you're writing about love? I'm sort of saying what Lor said but still, im confused......email me please  However long the night, the dawn will break. |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
AHH OK DUDES SETTLE DOWN! GEEZ LOR MY LOVE LIFE IS NOW GOING ROUN D THIS SITE!!! I JUST WROTE THIS ONE NOT FROM MY FEELING! I WAS WRITING THIS AS IF I WAS LOOKING IN ON SUM1 ELSES RELATIONSHIP, I WAS WRITING IT AS IF I WAS IN SOMEONE ELSES MIND! SETTLE DOWN CHICAS! THIS ISNT ABOUT ME!! ARRRGGGHHH. i cant write dark poetry cus ive sorta used it too much i feel. so i wrote this one. yeah i agree LOR i wrote better when i had emotion. i dont anymore. thanx Kissa for replying. i hate change! but anyways! Courts thanx for reading, it wasnt supposedc to be bout love its actuaklly bot this chica hus bf has got problems and shes trying to make him better. if that makes sense. BTW LOR bj was not bad. he was just,........ cant explain it. we both had problems not just him. dont blame him LOR. catch yas later keep rockin darkness You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson |
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