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Dark Poetry #4
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Defective
Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 73
Salisbury NC

0 posted 2003-12-13 07:59 PM


Soundly sleeping
until the pink pill wears off
then I wake up to hell
and scramble for the little yellow and blue ones
I have sitting by the bed just waiting for me to
reach over
Medicine takes days
When seconds are minutes
And minutes are hours
But
They say
they say its
all in my head
They say there's no physiological reason for this
I, I can't bring myself to believe
that this is
all for nothing
but then again I can't bring myself to believe
much in anything these days.
I can't explain what this feels like
except that I'm out of my head
I never thought I'd end up with this disease
leprosy of the mind.
(I thought I could end up normal)
So I sit here drawing tiny circles
at 3 AM
to keep occupied
to keep from having to wake anyone up
just to talk me back to sleep.

I can't describe the way a panic attack feels. A lot of people associate them with having a hard time breathing but mine feel like I'm the only one left in the world, and if I go to sleep I'm going to die.  Sometimes I stay up for days having these, even though I know that everything is fine, telling myself that is cold comfort. The doctors can call them "panic attacks" if they want, but for me they are pure hell and I wish that on no one.


[This message has been edited by Defective (12-13-2003 10:14 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Kristen Williams - All Rights Reserved
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
1 posted 2003-12-13 11:43 PM


this sounds like one for sure, and it is horrible to watch, having witnessed my daughters, find a support group please,they do help
Mad_Hatter
Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
Canada
2 posted 2003-12-14 04:14 PM


This one's hard, you're beautiful for writing this and it makes you more normal than most people.  Nicely done..
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