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Dark Poetry #4
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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-12-16 11:17 PM




I wonder if, sometimes
It would be a little easier
In the neon lights,
Shining down upon you all
Watching your heads fall.

I know it’s hard, because
The tears just won’t release
You will never make it,
As a waterfall, will you?
Just accept that the truth is true.
I wonder if, sometimes
People would care a little more
If I walked away,
I hoped you’d visit my grave
But I can’t expect a miracle.

I know it’s hard, because
I can see you rocking in your chair
You thought you’d never see the day,
Left behind, alone
Well, I must have found my way home.

I wonder if, sometimes
You feel the same
Shaking on the ground,
I’m not strong enough to rescue you
I wasn’t strong enough to rescue myself.

I know it’s hard, because
I was walking in your shoes
I’m just so sorry,
But I’m watching you now
I’m the angel you would have been for me,
If you had wondered,
Sometimes.

You just got to see me through another day
My body's achin' and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way

© Copyright 2004 Courtney - All Rights Reserved
darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
1 posted 2004-12-16 11:39 PM


I wonder if, sometimes
You feel the same
Shaking on the ground,
I’m not strong enough to rescue you
I wasn’t strong enough to rescue myself.

aw dude. umm no idea wat to see cept it rocks so hard

one of my def faves of yours... kinda hurt to read


love and empathy
sophie

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-12-16 11:40 PM


hehe i saw this one as a cowboy story... dont ask me why! hah good write, i enjoyed a lot. but didnt u end a recent poem with sometimes? im not sure. oh well

LOR

you're the only one keeping me alive

A Tone of Voice
Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287

3 posted 2004-12-17 02:44 PM


I’m the angel you would have been for me,
If you had wondered,
Sometimes.


I like the way you worded this---sort of obviously vague! :-)

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
4 posted 2005-01-02 04:23 PM


Hey, this was good, i liked it a lot. It's not as striking as most of your other ones, def. not your best, but i still liked it anyway. i don't think you're capable of bad writing. lol.

lots of love,
Kurst
xxx

Pride is holding your head up, when everyone else has their's lowered. Courage is what makes you do it.

Ladycat
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782
At the edge and a doorway,TX
5 posted 2005-01-02 04:26 PM


This piece is beautifully worded. I love the feeling behind it. Thank you very much for such a great piece to read.

Love,
Ladycat

Insanity in individuals is something rare but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.-Friedrich Nietzsche

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
6 posted 2005-01-06 10:45 AM


this is full of a sense of remembering and its so real. the way its told sounds quiet and loud all at once.

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