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Dark Poetry #4
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Shadow
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Shadow |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Took her steps, Glancing over to her shadow, To see those moves I had disguised for so long. Trails of her breath nestled on my shoulder, Casually leaning on her was my intention, But I forever transcended onto her mask. Classy in the morning, Classless by the night’s even moon, I realized far too late to string her together. I ran through her without seeing, Believing for she was so clearly mounted, But left retreated by a familiar shadow. I knew she was too good to be true, But those eyes were beside me, Telling me to forget. Wishing her back, No leaving her behind, I just can’t leave her shadow ever again. A shadow that laced my heart and mind together, forever. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I see little that I like in here anymore.  I did enjoy this one tonight though. haunting...and there is just SOMETHING about itAll of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
long time no see. I miss your poems around here. This is a unique approach and perspective. You didn't just say the usual. "Classy in the morning, Classless by the night’s even moon," Maybe my favorite part if I had to pick one. the even moon I think the great thing about your poetry is your adjectives. I mean, I've never thought of the moon as even, but it just fits. Your words seem to perfectly and gently placed. beautiful. post more, please. ~Lex [This message has been edited by Lexy (12-03-2003 11:38 PM).] |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
as temptress said... there is jhust SOMETHING about the way you wrote that poem i love the "secrecy" about it almost. how you dont know until the last line about the shadow do post some more! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
ahh Tomer . . this is a beauty the pure yearn for something pulling you . . even though knowing you should turn and back away mann I loved this xxoo |
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Mad_Hatter Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393Canada |
This is dark poetry if I've seen it. It as previously said the tension between doing something that is the opposite of what you should do. Darkness is about struggle and the struggle in this poem is perfectly written. Wonderful write. |
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junemac Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005uk |
excellent poem here. i love your style june x |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Thank you for everyones comments, always welcome.. Tomer |
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