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Dark Poetry #4
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Burnt thoughts
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Burnt thoughts |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand 
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The pressure builds on my shoulders with the weight of your drifting haste as we crumble to the bottom of our limits we make unreliable sense to our faith Im senseless to your touch as the flesh we bear begins to fade and i can hear the thoughts barricading your mind and i see a open path for me to take if light wasnt so hard to maintain then this world would be brighter in many different ways the cry of a child would be of pleasure and the pain we scream will just be fate And young we are to hear the call of the clouds as they shade our vision as the malice of the border licking sky limits our ears to the screams of injustice This is how i lay it out on the table take it or leave it, have it or no i will find my way through the misty tears you cause me to leak from my solid eyes Hurry don't be late i'm waiting for you to come inside to warm this freezing room and wake me from this aging sleep these burnt thoughts fly through my mind as i see you opening the door and my mind comprehends all i have seen and i just wish to be in your arms. [yes, yes i no it went no where but i literally wrote this down in 3 minutes 42seconds cuz i was on such a writers rant. this is just so much thought i havent been able to get out of me for so long. Rock it, LOR] In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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| © Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I liked it. Not everything has to go somewhere. It "rocked" ~lol~ I am adding it to my library thing. ~Vampire Kisses  I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
i read it again...and now i am kind of seeing where its going, but its something i would never write about!! but i did so im pretty confused lol an idea is to put music on that inspires u (me its jewel) and u just write before the song finishes and such great writing and a weight off ur shoulder!!! try it sometime 'Rock it' LOR In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I think i will. I like jewel, but i think i will put on me linkin park CD, or else just the radio. lol ~Vampire Kisses I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Lor! This is awesome! ahhh i cant believe it only took u like 3 mins to write it, this is truly a fav of mine!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the first paragraph.....eeeeeeeek keep posting! Aggs However long the night, the dawn will break. |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
"Hurry don't be late i'm waiting for you to come inside to warm this freezing room and wake me from this aging sleep" i liked this stanza "So what befalls the flawless? |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
HEYYYY WOW I LOVED THIS I DONT CARE IT DIDNT GO ANYWHERE IT WAS POWERDFUL ANYWAY!!!!!!!! AHHH I LOVEDS IT KISSA... WAT CAN I SAY, YOUR CATCHING ONTO MY LINGO! LOR I DID ROCK, HARCORE MAN HARDCORE!!! LINKIN PARK,. KISSA, ROCKS TO GET INSPIRATION FROM! LINKIN PARK OR EVEN SOMETHING LIKE FINGER 11, NIRVANA AND OF COURSE MY LEADING INSPIRATION-GETTER-FROMERS EVANESENCE!!!! LOR THIS IS SUCH A GREAT POEM... ITS IN MY LIBRARY THINGIE! ITS PROB ONE OF UR BEST. GRRR I CANT WRITE NE DECENT POEMS NO MORE SO IM JUST A REPLIER PERSON NOIW. THIS IS MY FAV POEM FOR LIKE A WEEK OR SO FROM HERE, ITS GOT A BIT DAMP. CATCH YAS ON THE FLIPSIDE keep rockin darknesssss You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson |
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