navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » pain
Dark Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic pain Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
tecoyah
Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 83
NY

0 posted 2003-11-27 07:56 PM


paper cuts this lemon drenched eye
witness the rape of lifes true love
as mother bleeds under evils knife
hope so far gone , I cant seem to try

bile soaked taste buds waste away
mind losing pieces to old age
cast off by all known souls
so hated even the dog wont stay

© Copyright 2003 Tecoyah - All Rights Reserved
Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
1 posted 2003-11-29 08:12 AM


such descriptive words!
coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

2 posted 2003-11-29 10:26 AM


You have captured the pain and presented it in some very vivid imagery.

Powerful words.

coyote 8)

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
3 posted 2003-11-30 10:28 PM


the length seems friendly, a quick read perhaps, but the words are deep with a richness and density to them.
well crafted.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » pain

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary