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misao
Member

since 2003-11-08

Posts 50

0 posted 2003-11-26 07:21 PM

No light within this soul of mine
the darkness fills my once gentle heart
fire surrounds me every way I turn
evil embraces me tightly.

the clouds of love turn into hate
the good shall fall victim to the wicked
all the angelic turn devilish
while the world changes dark.

killings become imminent
good souls are trapped within a sphere of hate
never to be released again.

no love, just rage
no fear, just courage
no light, just darkness.

just us...

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

1 posted 2003-11-26 10:50 PM

"no love, just rage
no fear, just courage
no light, just darkness.

just us..."

great ending, this is my favorite part...very sad, but it's a good poem either way. =)

- River

Love hurts as bad as it feels good.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-11-29 08:15 PM

There's my girl.

And shaking my head. You are so much like me it's scary sometimes.

This is a wonderful vent--but can ya stand just a little bit of motherly advice?

I understand you like to write dark poetry, and probably prefer this forum, but try reading some of the wonderful poetry available to you here, and yes, let the poets know that you read and appreciated their offerings. It's only fair baby.

love you

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

3 posted 2004-01-19 05:20 AM

Completely agree with River. The ending is superbly written. You have a great grasp of free verse, and a sad grasp on the reality of things. But remember: for every darkness, light. For every hatred, love. For every sad thought, one will find you that brings happiness. The world keeps it's balance, so don't forget to see both sides when you're looking.

Vagabond
Member

since 2004-01-23

Posts 163

4 posted 2004-01-27 12:13 PM

truly spoken for both me and you

Vagabon the Lost One

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

5 posted 2004-05-29 02:49 AM

Ya know?
You write with a freedom that I can only dream about. I love it ^_^

there's a thousand places I'd like to be, but in your arms would be Heaven

Destinys_Fallen_Angel
Member

since 2004-05-06

Posts 75
Boise Idaho

6 posted 2004-05-31 08:33 PM

wonderful poem...very expressive...i like it

Yahoo messenger: destinys_Falen_Angel
MSN Messenger: Destinys_Fallen_Angel
AOL/AIM: Eternityshyann

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

7 posted 2004-06-01 12:07 PM

.....Loved The Ending.........

Hollow

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

8 posted 2004-06-04 01:13 AM

Oh wow. tHe ending stuck out extremelly well! It was brilliant! I loved it. The ending was the best part. It made the poem for me!

Kissa~