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Dark Poetry #4
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tecoyah
Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 83
NY

0 posted 2003-11-20 04:03 PM


Closed soul breeding a dead mind
Open only on Sunday
Accepting only those of a kind
Take your failing God and bleed with it

Destruction a follower of your path
Damnation based on love
I have no fear of your lords’ wrath
It has not the power to give you sight

All that I am can feel your hate
Yet fail to understand
I’ll pray to your God it’s not too late
To shed such light as a numb mind can take

Closed mind seeding this dead soul
Redirect your faith
If only your heart you gave control
To see there is no false creator, only the truth


© Copyright 2003 Tecoyah - All Rights Reserved
SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
1 posted 2003-11-20 05:25 PM


The title says it ...no *TRUE* God would lead someone without sight. Eyes opened with *His* wisdom is far from numb, and VERY far from hate. The human side is what loses sight, and becomes numb, not the spiritual side. I can feel the anger in this one. WOW. Yikes. Scary.
Love,
Terri~

[This message has been edited by SharaRose (11-20-2003 05:50 PM).]

tecoyah
Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 83
NY
2 posted 2003-11-20 06:13 PM


Ah, Terry....Its a poem, no hidden meaning, no attempt at debasing any one or thing, its a poem.  tx for the crit though
SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
3 posted 2003-11-20 10:28 PM


I don't know enough about poetry to give a "crit" I just gave a comment on the way it sounds scary. Just a poem. Got ya! I say scary even still, because that's the emotion it made me feel at the time of reading. I can assure you I meant no one a bit of harm. I won't do it again. Comment that is.
Thanks.
Terri~

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
4 posted 2003-11-25 02:44 PM


I really enjoyed this piece
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