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Dark Poetry #4

Our Taboo Love

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

0 posted 2003-11-04 09:25 AM

I left our farm
to dwell in his mansion,
a grand name for his
quaint caravan
pulled along byJessie
the stalwartgrey cob.

Shunned by my kinfolk.
Banishedfrom his Romany roots,
wetravelled our lonely
way into the future.

His seeds that I germinated
were scattered carefully
after many years
of tender nurturing.

Alone again, our days
growingfewer
we are happy
to be clasped
in out taboo love.

Hope I have not posted this before.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

1 posted 2003-11-04 11:11 AM

Thats the way life goes for some.

GIS

All that is great once was small.

[Im the one thats going to die when its time for me to die. So let me live my life the way I want to.]-JIMI

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2003-11-04 07:14 PM

Cusick,

I love the idea, but I want more. I want to be able to taste the sweat and the clay -- please? This one has major potential.

.m.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

3 posted 2003-11-04 07:20 PM

i agree wit b, i want more! but it is really good start, makes my mind wonder.

"For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible."

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

4 posted 2003-11-05 09:21 AM

Thank you itcy. Maggie

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

5 posted 2003-11-05 09:23 AM

Bsqirrell isn't it good to leave the reader wanting More. Thank you for your comments. Maggie

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

6 posted 2003-11-05 09:24 AM

Thank you for reading eor. I will see what I can do. Maggie

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2003-11-08 12:55 PM

pretty good

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