»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #4
»
Fading Through the Shadows (a duet with DrAgOnFLY)
| Dark Poetry #4 |
|
Fading Through the Shadows (a duet with DrAgOnFLY) |
|
|
River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
Rough day Retreating from the world Closing down shutting out just wanna be alone away from the pain away from the world the screams the taunts the insults the stares just fade away like shadow corrupting the ending day just me and thyself no one else surrounded by the masses alone in the end will i ever find my place in life or always be forever abandoned forever alone with shadowed doubts doubt of light doubt of hope doubt of life doubts of you just fade away like shadow corrupting the ending day just me and thyself alone in the dark tired of the roller coaster life ready and willing to change the score I gotta discover it this time this is me but there’s more just gotta be more more to this life than boorish repetition more peace less fight no shattered dreams no shattered light just fade away like shadow corrupting the ending day just me and thyself alone, alone a tribute to silence ---hm, i wrote the last line, but it doesn't seem affective to me...any ideas guys?--- |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Bonnie Sue Bixler - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
This poem is pretty good, but the end could have been stretched out a bit. It seems kind of abrupt, but that could add to the poem, as its out of place "theme" {i guess you would call it that}. Nice write. Oh and did I call it a poem? Forget that. It could be a song. hehe. GIS All that is great once was small. |
||
|
~*DrAgOnFLY*~ Junior Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 29Haven of Abyss |
yeah...the end is a bit abrupt, but im having no revelations at the moment... "You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same" Forever 'N Always <>< ~*DrAgOnFLY*~ [This message has been edited by ~*DrAgOnFLY*~ (10-31-2003 08:40 PM).] |
||
|
River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
lol, i could not think of any different endings. my creative ability shorted out at that point, =b. lol. oh well, i'll think of something sooner or later, or drag will. =). thanks Green, we really thought we'd try to make it a song, lol, so i'm glad you noticed. =). maybe someday when one of us gets a record contract or something we can put it on an album. =). - River Love hurts as bad as it feels good. |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
a tribute I know well |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
