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Dark Poetry #4
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"Bitch eden"
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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"Bitch eden" |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
you brewed me brooding hen from bruised fruit and footprints as if I were an exotic ferment brought from afar like caravan riches and trade winds spice in turn I made love potion mead of your sweetest nectar writhing on my tongue which spoke of time in skies of falling diamonds and oceans of lost kisses casting pearls before swine so here I lay apple in mouth waiting for the wisdom but all you wanted were the parts they threw away "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, [This message has been edited by coyote (10-03-2003 07:27 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 coyote - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Joe Houck Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 324california |
A very unconventional title. I like it A great choice in topic that I dabble in as well. And oh so true A very interesting read. Joe "The worst vice is advice" (Al Pacino, devil's advocate) |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks for reading, Joe. Your comments are most appreciated. coyote  "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
hmm...I'm thinking about this one. I liked it, personaly. but still thinking And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks, Wind. Good of you to read and comment. I'm glad you liked it. coyote "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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pandonov Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478b/w conscience and insolence |
quite interesting, there is something in the air. I liked it, but I still don't know why |
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Purple Poet On Wheels Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 145Pittsburgh/Edinboro, PA |
damn good |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks for reading, pandonov and PPOW. I'm grateful for your kind comments. coyote "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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Asian Rain Member
since 2003-10-11
Posts 73 |
I really like this one. There are some wonderful lines and images in this that I find quite captivating: "trade wind spices" "your sweetest nectar writhing on my tongue". Most enjoyable read! |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks, Asian Rain. I'm glad you liked it. coyote "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
OMG!!! All this time, and I never knew who you were? How weird! *smiles that nonchalant grin* Coyote Billy. I've read this piece before, from you, in a different corner of the net. Good to see it up somewhere else, it's a great piece, and I've enjoyed it a few times now.BTW, I am AJHuddleston from the lair. *bump*~Alicia |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
have to think about this one...it is good...but gotta think "For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible." |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
coyote? This is brilliant! so here I lay apple in mouth waiting for the wisdom but all you wanted were the parts they threw away as simple wish eh? *smile* xxoo |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Aha, AJ! Well you are quite correct. I do go by CB on ezboard sites, lol. Glad ya liked the write though, and good to know who you are too, lol. ~smiles and waves~ coyote 8) "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks for reading, eor. Glad ya liked it. coyote 8) "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks, littlewing. Yes, I suppose it is a wish,lol. Thanks for reading and glad ya liked it. coyote 8) "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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Mad_Hatter Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393Canada |
It's very good, but as others have said, it's a thinker...I enjoyed it. |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks, Mad Hatter. Glad ya could relate. CB 8) |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
hatred can only think, feast of the unicorn. |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
"Could there be a fouler act? No doubt the Baron knows of one." -Autumn Willow Interesting...hatred...dertah.... I see you know your magick and your cards. Thanks for reading. coyote "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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cusick Senior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 668 |
One thing that a good poem does is to make you think and I can see by the replies that you have succeeded.The last stanza told me a lot and we are all a little like that.You can have the earth but you always want the thing that is out of reach. Very good read. Maggie |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
A beautiful, brilliant capturing of the Fall of Man, as I see it. I might be very incorrect, but how you describe the many riches and wonders of Eden as being things of lost history, and later, yourself with the apple in your mouth waiting for wisdom, and the contrary attitude of the person to whom the poem is directed (an "Adam" figure, it seems to me). But the way you say "the things they threw away" suggests this isn't a direct story of Adam and Eve, but a parallel between that story and some present state of Man... is it a personal experience? That would explain it... I love poetry that gives me a hard time finding its meaning. Thanks for getting my brain in motion, I needed that. Very nice writing.Parasite Faith is a fine invention |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks, Maggie. You are always thinking, m'friend. I'm glad you got some more out of this one. Billy "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks, LP. One of the reasons I post on the Internet is to get different perspectives on the meaning of each write, and I'll usually use the input to rewrite them, often in slightly differing directions. The versions you see here are seldom the "finals", and some pieces it seems are always "under construction", lol. Glad ya liked it though, and I really appreciate your comprehensive take on it. Btw it is sort of about a personal relationship, a very obsessive one. Coyote 8) "Who knows if to live is to be dead, and to be dead, to live? And we really, it may be, are dead; in fact I once heard sages say that we are now dead, |
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