Upon the Demise of Torment

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Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

0 posted 2003-10-02 11:02 AM

Dug up(no pun intended)

an old one.

I saw the sun today
through leafless tree
and winter gray
Remorse was absent
as was grief
replaced this morn
by sweet relief
I saw the sun today
just as shadow
crept your wayâ€¦

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

1 posted 2003-10-02 02:46 PM

-hugs- You know what I'm gonna say...

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

2 posted 2003-10-03 11:54 AM

I saw hope in this....which leads me to believe it doesn't belong in dark...

The shadow can be ignored.

I loved it for the hope....I saw the sun today.

Susan

[This message has been edited by Susan Caldwell (10-03-2003 11:55 AM).]

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

3 posted 2003-10-03 03:24 PM

Lauren- thanks babe ~hugs~

Susan- Yes, indeed there is hope in this, maybe you're right.

[This message has been edited by Edder (10-03-2003 03:25 PM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2003-10-03 10:05 PM

Hey Eddie.

I like this, it speaks the cyclic nature of "fortune"--

and reminded me of something I read recently,(and I'll have to paraphrase, because I have been doing that attention deficit thing I do of reading two paragraphs of a something and moving on...)

But anyhoo, it's an old parable about misfortune, fortune and commiserating. A man's prize horse ran away, and a neighbor commented "what bad luck!" The man shrugged and said, "Time will tell." Soon enough the horse came back, leading a herd of horses wild to add to the man's fortune. "What great luck!" the neighbor said again. The man shrugged and said, "Time will tell." Soon enough, time DID tell--the man's son had now broken his leg, trying to break in the wild ponies. "What bad luck!" the neighbor said. Again the man just shrugged and waited on "time to tell". Then a war broke out, and all men of age were called upon to defend their countryside. But the man's son, being indisposed by his unlucky broken leg, was spared the following slaughter.

you might wonder how I got that parable out of your poem. um. I do too. heh heh.

not sure if it's just cyclic nature or perception. But that, m'friend is what your poem made me think about.

Thanks.

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

5 posted 2003-10-03 10:17 PM

I read your poem and then serenity just starts going on about th mongols or something

enjoyable, a nice look at the sun

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

6 posted 2003-10-11 01:13 AM

Hey, Dark is back! I never had a chance to reply before it went *poof* so here goes...

Karen- Actually, you're not far off the mark...it was indeed good fortune for me, and yes, I guess it was cyclic too...what comes around goes around.

Wind- thank you sweetie, glad you enjoyed.

[This message has been edited by Edder (10-11-2003 01:16 AM).]

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

7 posted 2003-10-12 02:42 PM

Ed:

oh mann ok maybe it is me but I saw in this
hope , yes but maybe a little but also
a sort of inner gladness as in a revengeful sort for maybe someone who deserved it?

I saw the sun today
just as shadow
crept your way

Nice Ed - loved this
xxoo

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

8 posted 2003-10-13 12:10 PM

Sue- then again, maybe it's not just you. and the answer? yes

MidnightSon
Member

since 2002-05-15

Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars

9 posted 2003-10-13 03:03 PM

boy do i ever know the feeling.

an enjoyable write that i was able to take into me and find a meaning already residing there.

nicely done.

through the ravages of sleeplessness lies the comfort of the night

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

10 posted 2003-11-02 01:25 PM

MidnightSon- thanks for reading. sorry you can relate. not a situation i want to be in again.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

11 posted 2003-11-08 01:16 PM

Edder! Good to see you in here...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

12 posted 2004-01-20 03:49 PM

I saw the sun today
through leafless tree
and winter gray
Remorse was absent
as was grief
replaced this morn
by sweet relief
I saw the sun today
just as shadow
crept your way

I saw the moon this night
through half gone tree
with winter white
clinging softness
shedding light
no relief
for this soul to rest
as nighttime falls
I can attest
no relief in this
now emptied nest...

M

*inspired a little...

Endlessecho
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 398
I live within myself

13 posted 2004-01-20 04:52 PM

hmmm... loved this.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

14 posted 2004-02-23 03:23 AM

short but very powerful

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

15 posted 2004-03-02 01:27 AM

Edder, great expression -- so much said sucinctly!

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

16 posted 2004-03-02 03:51 AM

simply
perfectly
stated

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

17 posted 2005-03-02 01:09 PM

You knew I would like this...
and I do...from title to the last period.

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

18 posted 2005-03-09 04:47 AM

Short, Simple, Amazing.

"Trina"

Happiness Runs From Me, For I Am It's Enemy, Anyone Who Has It, Is Someone I Envy...

Much Luv,
"Trina"

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