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Dark Poetry #4
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Hospice
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Hospice |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
A trick, Something accident Unplanned for the failure that doomed and cursed and collasped She dies Lonely, sad; A living corpse Morphine on her lips and imbeded in her very blood High cost Death effective Blessed by god, soon to meat Peace and comfortable silence A friend Inside Sweet Remember Sudden fall Fear phoibia screams deep inside All and nothing last through Secrets He plans the evil Apathy Stranded alone Destiny set forth established by the past Forever regret Lack of intellect Guilty stubborn rude Misery I want to This is my choice Villian silence heavy tear drop splattered heart Guilty soft The two conflict Sweet secrets permanently kept Gentle by desire Afraid to admit Pure love Pure dirt Impurity Conflict a trickle of music from a well |
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| © Copyright 2003 Kenneth Craig Rogers - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
hmmm..well this is good. I felt it could have been a little more descriptive. I mean don't get me wrong it was graphic and all, but I think it would be more effective if you brought the element into your poetry. Try making the subject obvious. Just some suggestions. I like your poetry the way it is, vague yet descriptive, but I don't know, play with it. Have a good day.  ~Lex |
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