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Open Poetry #30
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2004-01-23 07:03 PM



Talking Crazy to the Wind

Brush my hair
I am wild

In a room without walls
words banter about
and want to save me

A claw tears the fabric
rends and strips the chimes
then tosses out this rhyme

Gather leaves around the garden hose
like a mother
her format calls for clinging

I can lie down like a snake too
and be a magnet to flying things
like purple an idea is folded by my eyes
then put away until
this empty space is climbing past me

And there is no where to stop you see
there is only up
and me


I am just a traveler looking for a home, finding I carry it around with me, and sometimes it's just too heavy.

© Copyright 2004 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-01-23 07:12 PM


I can lie down like a snake too
and be a magnet to flying things
like purple an idea is folded by my eyes
then put away until
this empty space is climbing past me

~*~

Now, you know how I feel about "up"...
and you know how I feel
about s

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-01-23 07:13 PM


Your words are quality

Fabric is only ripped when a surface covering comes into contact with something it wasn't designed to do

Would you deny entrance to the uncouth who are already attacking people who write as I saw tonight

A cosy closed locked loop system that invited me in knowing what I was and what I belived in

Piptalk gives a chance to write

It is like a blind being given eyes

Your words
Your ideas
Your passions and emotions

Are the world's ideas
For a perfect moment

Dave

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-01-23 07:21 PM


"And there is no where to stop you see
there is only up
and me"

Wonderful sweet Martie...
I so much enjoy your style.
Hugs~

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2004-01-23 07:22 PM


Everytime I read you I think "my new favorite"--you are consistently amazing lady.


ice
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since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2004-01-23 08:20 PM


If I had to pick one stanza as my fav, this would be it>
"Gather leaves around the garden hose
like a mother
her format calls for clinging"

But please don't make me chose, I love them all...:-)
enjoyed
_______ice
  ><>

icebox
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since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
6 posted 2004-01-23 08:23 PM


I don't have words for this, my reactions were physical not intellectual.  Very interesting!!!

*smile*

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
7 posted 2004-01-24 04:20 AM


Dear Martie you are special.
Love, Margherita

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 2004-01-24 04:24 AM


I can lie down like a snake too
and be a magnet to flying things


What an image!
What a poet!

it's definitely a

M

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

muted
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since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
9 posted 2004-01-24 04:33 AM


oh...i do like the syle of this...sooo much

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

10 posted 2004-01-24 06:06 AM


This a bit jumbled love...first five lines are great and then it seems to lose it a bit...

it just goes off into happy lala poetry land heh...doesn't say much though?

Unfortunately, extended metaphor can do that...belabour the point until it's all image and little communicated meaning...

hugs

K

Magnus
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South Carolina, USA
11 posted 2004-01-24 10:33 AM


Yes Martie...yes and more...such is the wind
and all it's wiles...

Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands
12 posted 2004-01-24 11:03 AM


I enjoyed the read... and what an interesting title!  I've done that a lot of times in moments of distress but I wasn't talking... more shouting I'm afraid!
Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2004-01-24 04:06 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwwww, you always fly on gossamer wings with your poetry and show us all what up is, sweet friend, up and away beyond the emptiness we go, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Ratleader
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since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
14 posted 2004-01-25 12:29 PM


Martie, I know the source of this and I have been to that place though I am incapable of relating it as poetry in the way that you do so beautifully here....and while I cannot fly I can be there. You on the other hand do fly effortlessly from time to time, as I have told you on more than one occasion....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2004-01-25 12:39 PM


what a perfect ending
vlraynes
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since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
16 posted 2004-01-25 02:00 AM



"I can lie down like a snake too
and be a magnet to flying things"

Love this, Martie...
you never cease to amaze me, my friend...

Love you...miss you...

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

17 posted 2004-01-25 04:56 PM



The wind always has something to say doesn't it? I wonder where it takes our words?

Maybe we need a net.

I'm reminded of those mammals who batten down the tall grass for a bed (and love the hose/snake gathering analogy)

An unexpected upbeat ending. I enjoyed.

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

18 posted 2004-01-26 01:03 AM




Talking crazy... like a fox...

Martie, you have the innocence
of a child, and true soul of a poet.

If there is one truth in life, that would
have to be, that you’ll never cease to amaze me.

Oh, and I hope you don’t mind me saying,
but your new picture is simply beautiful!

Richy


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
19 posted 2004-01-26 12:27 PM


"I can lie down like a snake too"

I liked that line...well, the entire piece...but in particular that line

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
20 posted 2004-01-27 07:00 PM


Martie - this is terrific and I loved it - Paul
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