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Open Poetry #30
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dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258


0 posted 2004-01-23 05:37 PM


That was your place,
but it was filled by another
They tossed her out though,
so what about you?
They should've known,
you were better
They should've known,
she was a deceiver
You're spot was filled,
by a wannabe player,
so what about you?
The one who loved to play,
not for the glory or recognition,
but for the fun and challenge,
for the love of the game.
What about me?

© Copyright 2004 samantha rae - All Rights Reserved
Astro
Member
since 2003-01-08
Posts 69
Ca.
1 posted 2004-01-23 05:49 PM


Hey Dinky

Don't hate the player; hate the game! What a stupid phrase, huh? Sorry you got played. But, I'm glad you could get a poem out of it, process it, and put it in the past.

Sight is an always awful beginning

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-01-23 06:35 PM


Nice structure

I wont hit my usual about exploding the emotions to explod the words but:

Someone on a poem needs to know where you are going with it
****************************************

Another tossed into the heap
I told them I was better
She lied with deceit
To you

So your'e someone else
Bed for anyfun

Running through your life
Can you run for anyone

It's like the "tell them what you are going to tell them", "tell them", "tell them what you told them" stuff, without of course repeating

Dave

McLean
Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484
state of marital bliss
3 posted 2004-01-23 06:55 PM


What about you?

Good write.

McLean

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

4 posted 2004-01-23 07:23 PM


thx for takin time to read my post
i appreciate it!

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