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Passions in Poetry

In the Native Quarter

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Pilgrimage
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since 12-04-2001
Posts 3905
Texas, USA


0 posted 01-23-2004 10:02 AM       View Profile for Pilgrimage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Pilgrimage


In the Native Quarter

Hot and dusty,
painted with a light too white for comfort,
the bazaar brimmed
with noise
and foreign stinks.

In all the bustle
he sat on a rug
and seemed to sleep.

A fakir,
a native,
a bearded man in a turban
alone,
half in shadow
half in sun.

I fingered lace at a near-by stall,
his stillness drawing my attention.

Slowly,
as though forced open by my gaze,
his heavy eyelids lifted
to reveal the Mediterranean at dusk.

Through the shouts
and cries
and rumble of the crowd
I heard his whisper,

"Not you."

I walked away.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

© Copyright 2004 Nancy Wilcox - All Rights Reserved
Edder
Senior Member
since 04-02-2003
Posts 676


1 posted 01-23-2004 10:05 AM       View Profile for Edder   Email Edder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Edder

I was there, oh yes, I was there. Thank you for that... absolutely amazing!
muted
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since 01-15-2004
Posts 3021
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving


2 posted 01-23-2004 10:08 AM       View Profile for muted   Email muted   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for muted

i think Edder and I were on the same tour...cause i know i could see it, smell it, feel it...and hear that whisper...

love the way this is written
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 01-23-2004 10:15 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

his heavy eyelids lifted
to reveal the Mediterranean at dusk.

Through the shouts
and cries
and rumble of the crowd
I heard his whisper,

"Not you."


~*~

Oh.  Now wait.  Not you, what?
More, please.
passing shadows
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since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


4 posted 01-23-2004 12:58 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

very vivid! well done!
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


5 posted 01-23-2004 01:13 PM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

Geez, Nan, I think I would have ran!!!

Incredibly vivid!

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


6 posted 01-23-2004 01:20 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair


why have you not shown this style and story telling to us before? You have always written well and I have always enjoyed... but this captures more..and truly has become my favorite from you..

not you

indeed.. I know that look and reply to something unasked... and I have known those who could give it with some certainty that eventually made sense or began the journey to find it...

bravo Nan..
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


7 posted 01-23-2004 01:32 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

NanNanNan~
This IS WONDERFUL~

So vividly it spoke the moment ... the scene became as if ... as if ...
yeah, as if I were right there~

'his heavy eyelids lifted
to reveal the Mediterranean at dusk'


Oh my !
This thought-line is to die for~

Talent ... talent ... talent~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 12-04-2001
Posts 3905
Texas, USA


8 posted 01-23-2004 04:00 PM       View Profile for Pilgrimage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pilgrimage

Thanks guys, I'm glad you like it.  A friend at another website inspired it, and I thought it was good enough to stand on its own. He said he writes little vignettes just to get his creative juices flowing.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

garysgirl
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since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


9 posted 01-23-2004 05:34 PM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

Nan, I felt the same as Sunshine said......
I felt as if I was right there, and I found myself
wanting to know more. Is there more? I hope so.
This was awesome!!  
Hugs  
Ethel
Mistletoe Angel
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City of Roses


10 posted 01-24-2004 06:15 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(smiles) "Not you?". "NOT YOU?". Oh, but it IS you and you always belong wherever you take us, sweet friend, God Bless You, you put us all right in the moment, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Nancy, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 12-04-2001
Posts 3905
Texas, USA


11 posted 01-24-2004 11:30 PM       View Profile for Pilgrimage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pilgrimage

Ethel, the exercise is to make a moment in time as vivid as you can, and inspire emotion or speculation. So I succeeded, and now you have to continue the story yourself.

Noah, Thank you so much. You are always so kind.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Edder
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since 04-02-2003
Posts 676


12 posted 02-27-2004 10:21 PM       View Profile for Edder   Email Edder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Edder

had to come back again and see if i still got goosebumps... i did.
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