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Passions in Poetry

Yuki Sings

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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


0 posted 01-23-2004 07:03 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Severn

_

some weak rescue
this

‘it’ll all be ok,
one day’ and
isn’t life a wait,
beautiful one

_

she has done this before
on and off,
around distance, a list
in comfort when she
needed the truth
of skin

it’s possible, the weight
-not so far-fetched
in our shrinking world

_

he’s there, dreamed
-comfort instead of
the usual disasters
planes crashing, pursuit,
her mother’s eyes in death

sometimes
all he might say is
‘I know’

it’s enough

_

6am and the sleepless
dawn

she knows the size of his hands
the way they fold her
hair into the palm
of his life
_

I’d drift love into you
and carve you into
the sky

and say ‘you belong,
be safe’

© Copyright 2004 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
Laoha
Member
since 03-07-2003
Posts 172
Nevada, USA


1 posted 01-23-2004 07:12 AM       View Profile for Laoha   Email Laoha   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Laoha

Lovely thoughts, I like your style.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 01-23-2004 07:19 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


she knows the size of his hands

~*~

Somehow, that very line
is extremely comforting.

And?

Glad to see you back!
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 02-06-2000
Posts 5323
singapore


3 posted 01-23-2004 07:56 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

Hi K,

no lingering sense of loss? upbeat poem that puts a grin on my face? my gosh, is this you i'm reading?

beautiful one
~what a sly reference to the talented poetess!

it’s possible, the weight
-not so far-fetched
in our shrinking world
~er, didn't get this...the weight? meaning the knight in shining armour. but according to conventional logic, shouldnt it be the case that finding the ONE is more far-fetched in this shrinking world of ours because we grow more reliant on technology and place less emphasis on human ties and hence grow more distant from one another yadda yadda

or is the weight referring to the burden one has to bear when s/he factors in a BGR into her/his life?

he’s there, dreamed
-comfort instead of
~maybe i am revealing my ignorance of poetry here but i thought it was clever to put "dreamed" and "-comfort" in 2 separate lines because the reader may deem it the case that he should put 2 and 2 together and come up with "dreamed-comfort"...which kinda adds another layer of meaning to this piece

her mother’s eyes in death
~oh no. what a haunting line

it’s enough
~Amen. Indeed.

6am and the sleepless
dawn
~Awwwwwww, so sweet! but the poetess should really get some sleep. or work on more poetry if she can't/doesn't wanna so that she can bless us more with her presence

she knows the size of his hands
the way they fold her
hair into the palm
of his life
~my favourite bit. what a kewl way to express connectedness

this was a delight to read, both the content and the form of the poem. while it's fun to see poets playing with language and flaunting their powerful vocabulary,  your poem is proof that poetry touches deep, despite being written in plain simple language. and sometimes the simplest words do say it all and better.

stay belonged and safe!

p/s: er, didn't understand the reference. who/what is Yuki?
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 10-11-2003
Posts 2561


4 posted 01-23-2004 08:31 AM       View Profile for Sadelite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sadelite

Well taken, Severn.   Too often I find myself empathetic with my words, trying to do the "It'll-get-better stuff", when in fact, all the person needs is the "Know," that someone cares.    I very much liked your reflection and the way in which you presented it.   It made me think.
  
                     ~Sadelite~
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


5 posted 01-23-2004 04:20 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

Deesse....

20 minutes staring at the reply window and still speechless..come here I'll show you instead
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


6 posted 01-23-2004 04:49 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

"she knows the size of his hands
the way they fold her
hair into the palm
of his life"

Wow!  Just..wow!
Beautiful piece of work.
Hugs~

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


7 posted 01-23-2004 05:16 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts


very touching...

"a list
in comfort when she
needed the truth
of skin"

wonderful expression

M
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


8 posted 01-23-2004 05:36 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Kamla

So tender and real
"sometimes
all he might say is
‘I know’

it’s enough"

and

"she knows the size of his hands
the way they fold her
hair into the palm
of his life"

sigh.........

So good to see you, DLP!!  Hugs!

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


9 posted 01-23-2004 06:02 PM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

sometimes
all he might say is
‘I know’

it’s enough



How true this can be, K.........

gadfly4you
Junior Member
since 01-24-2004
Posts 36


10 posted 01-24-2004 01:12 AM       View Profile for gadfly4you   Email gadfly4you   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gadfly4you

I felt this...wonderful...thank you
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


11 posted 01-24-2004 05:22 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Laoha - thank you very much. I see you've dug up a few of my older works, for which I'm really flattered....cheers...

Kari - the thing about this is that he's absolute comfort...so I'm glad that comfort came across. (Mind you, I did use the word twice grumble). Thank you, you always respond to my work whenever I choose to stumble on in here....

Hey another K - I don't know if it's 'upbeat' lol...me and upbeat? Nah...but yes, it's not about loss, that's for sure.

'beautiful one
~what a sly reference to the talented poetess!'

Snort, yeah whatever. Lol...

Weight/wait - there's two of them in the poem. I switched them to be cleva heh...and to play on the way they both apply in this particular piece. Less emphasis on human ties? This whole piece is about human ties...and how geography plays a small part in it...or on the other hand - with our technology we are more able to find a connection in a wider space aren't we? So, therefore, geography becomes the key.

(Er, what's a BGR?)

dreamed-comfort. Hadn't thought of it that way, and how does that make you ignorant. I like it.....

I've wound up writing profound things in simple language...somehow over the years lol. I prefer it in what I read; it comes out in what I write I guess. I like to express emotion through image.

You can't convey image clearly in a clutter of meaningless adjectives.

Yuki. 'Yuki Song' is a song by Deep Forest from their recent album Music Detected. It's a haunting, haunting song. The poem isn't as such inspired by it, but rather the song expresses the inspiration of the man. Make any sense? Prolly not lol..

To understand, key lyrics (bit convoluted, but you need to ~hear~ the passion):

'I didn't see it coming but it came upon me and took a hold on me and I, I could not help but believe I have faith in this thing, I have one chance in my life and I must take it, I gotta give it to you and I cannot let it go...I will not let it go...

I can't believe it, oh I can't believe it.'

The singer has a....devastating voice.

Anyway, hugs you....nice to talk as always....thanks for your input.

Sadelite - smile...yes, and I know means the world sometimes. Thank you for your reply, I've always said I'm glad when I write something that causes someone to think (maybe there's hope for me after all)..

Hey Ms Enchantress - smiling. I got a 'wow'. Thank you!

Maureen - thank you..

MLP - I know you know this one....maybe there's a bit of you in there eh? Likely a bit of all of us. Thank you. Hugs dear one..

Ethel - yes indeed. A thing to be thankful for, understanding. Real understanding.

gadfly - firstly, welcome to the forums. Secondly, thank you...I appreciate it.


R - thanks for bringing my muse back. I thought it had gone for good. Quietly speaking nordic.

K


Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 08-07-2001
Posts 5716


12 posted 01-24-2004 06:03 PM       View Profile for Duncan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Duncan

"she has done this before
on and off,
around distance, a list
in comfort when she
needed the truth
of skin

it’s possible, the weight
-not so far-fetched
in our shrinking world

_

he’s there, dreamed
-comfort instead of
the usual disasters
planes crashing, pursuit,
her mother’s eyes in death

sometimes
all he might say is
‘I know’

it’s enough"

.

Sorry it took me awhile to get here Kamla (better said, to respond...I've read several times).  Must say I did enjoy this bit of "departure" from you.  The explanation of the title certainly shedding light on the intent.  
Hope to hear from this voice again...
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 07-25-2000
Posts 9136
Somewhere... out there...


13 posted 01-25-2004 02:18 AM       View Profile for vlraynes   Email vlraynes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit vlraynes's Home Page   View IP for vlraynes


"she knows the size of his hands
the way they fold her
hair into the palm
of his life
_

I’d drift love into you
and carve you into
the sky

and say ‘you belong,
be safe’"


This is truly beautiful, Kamla...
loved every bit of it.

Good to read you again, my friend...

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


14 posted 01-25-2004 02:18 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

as nice as the song ( which  you know i have--lol)

J
Laoha
Member
since 03-07-2003
Posts 172
Nevada, USA


15 posted 02-05-2004 02:57 AM       View Profile for Laoha   Email Laoha   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Laoha

Yuki is also the name of a teen pop singer from Taiwan. She is very popular in Asia.
 
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