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Open Poetry #30
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Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2004-01-22 09:07 PM


To find the winsome heart wandering,
following the flow of water’s ebb.
As curves twist the meandering
below the spider’s silken web.

Take from me the ache of soul,
the pine of that which churns.
Hear from me the calling, before
the fire of my passion burns.

For in the light of crystal bright
a glimmer brings to gleam
a waking sight of dreamer’s flight
above the water’s stream...

And whence the walk is taken
upon the smoothest of  stone
asleep, one then reborn awakens
to breath as two entwined...
not one asleep, alone...

© Copyright 2004 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
1 posted 2004-01-22 09:15 PM


asleep, one then reborn awakens
to breath as two entwined...
not one asleep, alone...


Magnus dear friend, this is so soft to read and take in. Lovely. Chris

"At one glance
I love you
With a thousand hearts."


— Mihri Hatun, Turkish poet



    

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2004-01-22 09:21 PM


"And whence the walk is taken
upon the smoothest of  stone
asleep, one then reborn awakens
to breath as two entwined...
not one asleep, alone..."

Breathless romance Barry...you write it like no one else.  Enjoyed...



Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-01-22 09:32 PM


Oh my.....Oh *SIGH*
Wonderful Barry....melted some of the ice in Canada.
~Smiles and warm hugs~

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
4 posted 2004-01-22 09:32 PM


*sigh*
just beautiful
its so.. so, I don't know... romantic, loving, deep. I can't seem to find the word. But, it is...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

5 posted 2004-01-22 09:36 PM


"As curves twist the meandering
below the spider’s silken web."

great phrase...to go with a great write.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2004-01-22 09:39 PM


Barry,
Well you got all the girls sighing.
Well done my friend.

Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326

7 posted 2004-01-22 09:58 PM


Wonderful work Barry!! An awesome write!!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2004-01-22 10:25 PM


Barry

"to breath as two entwined...
not one asleep, alone..."

and this is how love should be!  You are so very Barry!

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
9 posted 2004-01-22 10:30 PM


Barry - very well done - you say it so very well - Paul
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2004-01-23 02:24 AM


this is precious
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2004-01-23 09:04 AM


"For in the light of crystal bright
a glimmer brings to gleam
a waking sight of dreamer’s flight
above the water’s stream..."

Barry~ This was seamless.  It flowed through me.  

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

12 posted 2004-01-23 09:18 AM


Beautiful, just beautiful!

SG

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
13 posted 2004-01-23 09:21 AM


to breath as two entwined...
not one asleep, alone...""


romance at its finest, you do this with such grace, it is always a pleasure to read you!

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
14 posted 2004-01-23 09:42 AM


nice
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
15 posted 2004-01-23 10:19 AM


You use all my favorite words in this one, and got my heart all fluttery, too.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Laoha
Member
since 2003-03-07
Posts 161
Nevada, USA
16 posted 2004-01-23 10:22 AM


enjoyed!

Laoha's Pen

Chinapoet

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
17 posted 2004-01-23 05:44 PM


This is a spellbinding write, in true Magnus fashion.  I am always impressed with the tenderness you convey in your works. TD
Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
18 posted 2004-01-23 08:16 PM


Take from me the ache of soul,
the pine of that which churns.
Hear from me the calling, before
the fire of my passion burns.

I felt this one down deep where I sometimes fear to go...

A fine piece of writing, Barry...very fine indeed.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
19 posted 2004-01-23 08:20 PM


"And whence the walk is taken
upon the smoothest of  stone
asleep, one then reborn awakens
to breath as two entwined...
not one asleep, alone..."

Wonderful lines, these!

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