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Open Poetry #30
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A Legend from the Shadowland
| Open Poetry #30 |
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A Legend from the Shadowland |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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"Who can brave the darkland's lust?" Silence was the answering. "Saddle up my steed." She spoke. All heads turned around to see this girl who made a mockery of the priest's behest. "Silence!" quelled the murmering of amusement's privelage as the shaman raised his staff-- "step aside and let me see" peering crowds impatiently to rest his eyes upon the waif. There a sickly child stood blush-- head down chanting prayer's escape-- she prayed for gifts--command of voice, the presence just to meet his stare. She danced in place from foot to foot wishing he would speak to her. Anger would demand her head and laughter would brand her the fool. The peoples of the clan gave way in deference to Holy Man-- he inspected folly's knave she steeled herself for reprimand wishing she were not so slight and that her blood pulsed royalty she willed herself to stand upright against rebellion of her knees. He circled her in widdershin scratching at his chin in thought-- the journeyman of visions keep-- he took her gently by the chin to scry for omens in her eyes, he laughed when he found innocence. "Go home to your mother, child. I'm in need of warriors." But she begged his audience, "I pray the mercy of favor. Grant me just a moment's ear-- hear me and I'll take my leave." He took his throne and gathered robe, a nod and smile spoke his assent. "Here, I bid you, come and sit-- explain to me why you are fit to travel where the mighty men have gone and not returned." "It's true that I am slight of build, I have no strength to carry arms-- but should you send me to the dark, I'd prefer the shadow's garm as metals clashing war give spark and armor has distinctive sound denying me my stealth of slight-- I can hide as no one can in this raiment of my skin." "But you have many years of yet, There's so much more you could regret" a rueful laugh escaped his lips-- "The innocents dismiss the risk Dance the devil's sure demise and even if you should survive you'll lose the laughter in your eyes-- the price is freedom of the child-- you'll never be the same again." "True enough," the child agreed, the tremor of her voice betrayed. "And I am young, but not a fool-- I have the sense to be afraid. But even as we speak, I change. Pondering mortality has slain the babe that dwelt in me; and if I live not having tried, I'll wretch from rotting death inside. The bid for power as my claim-- I can not return again to my blankets, back to sleep-- the choice itself a blackening." The shaman stood and dropped his robes. Rattle dancing chanting free His arms bid silence from the throng-- He bid the child to take a knee, He blessed her from the powdered tusk singing songs reserved for dead "Journey now to where you must" As the hunters gave protest they whispered that the priest was mad. yet they feared the reprimand and no not one of them did dare accept the task the child embraced. Barefoot through a briar patch a waif of child searched for the pit where demons ate the thoughts of men venom formed relentlessness strengthening the lesser gods a finger on the balances gleeful as the small girl slipped into the shadows of unknown. The village sang the dirge of death-- no legends grew of her return, she was a lesson children learned to keep themselves to traveled path. The badlands of the pit remained but whispers echoing the night-- the Shaman bent with age abstained and no more did he ask for knights-- no more lives of sacrifice, haunted by the eyes of child knowing that she was alive taunted by the sound of cries that came to him in dreams. Came the day a woman stood, barely there against the wood every step deliberate and not a twig betrayed her ground. A stranger in familiar land the people's curiosity bade her welcome to the clan offering a feast. The woman took her fill of broth gratitude enhanced the bread-- weariness succumbed to sleep, her countenance was of the dead peaceful immortality and home a cushion for her head. The Shaman called for gathering "bring this woman here to me" So once again she bowed her head hiding under lowered eyes. He leaned forward on his staff, bearded bent maturity, "Raise your eyes child--look at me" She did. He nodded knowingly. "Tell us, how did you survive-- draw maps that I might find the way." The womanchild just shook her head. "There is nothing I can say; no words of mine will keep you safe. The pit is everything you dread. Every demon differs thus, according to the seed of thought, the enemy is all of us strengthened by our fears." The shaman nodded thoughtfully, "why then battle what we dread?" she answered then most steadily, "Half-alive means we're half-dead." |
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| © Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
OH MY GOODNESS... oh ive got chill bumps..this was awesome.. oh wow, i'll be reading this again!  "...and longed to kiss her hand an lie a thousand summers at her feet." ~excerpt A.L. Tennyson |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
*bookmarking this one to inhale properly later when this nut house is quiet.*  How foolish must man be, not to be impressed by mountains and trees |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) this I look at as in a class different from the norm.. yet following an age old convention of telling..with an ending which becomes the moral.. different for you and well served as it is on the dish of metaphor and of intense... I have to ask, would it serve better in prose so that it might grow flesh and limbs to carry more? |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Every demon differs thus, according to the seed of thought, the enemy is all of us strengthened by our fears." Oh my goodness Karen! Oh my goodness. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Well...guess I know what you have been up to.. This was captivating... I have no other words to describe how good this is or how much I loved it.  I love when you tell me a story. "sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.." |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
More than captivating - timeless. Not sure which well you dug this from, but I for one am sincerely grateful for your efforts, which of course seem effortless. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I bow to your excellence!  Karen, damn this is wonderful! |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Karen?... this is incredible... and YOU amaze me... Will be back to read this one again later... must let the first dose digest... smile Love you, lady...  "When the power of love overcomes the love |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks all for your patience in reading this--it is very rough, but I'm kind of ambling my way around again, not quite sure what I'm looking for, and I won't be, until I find it.  |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
loved your poetry as always my knees weaken in your presence always have but this...this...this thing you have said...has just summed up my WHOLE life... "not quite sure what I'm looking for, and I won't be, until I find it" i may steal it for later if you don't mind heartfelt hugs...h |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
You are one amazing writer! We don't see you for a bit and then BAM you hit us with this!! So good Ser....so very very good! Love ya lady~Hugs In the midst of winter.. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
WOW loved it |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I came, I read, I admired the wonderful talent. Now, I intend on writing you with a personal request.  Life is but a magical mystery ~ Blessed Be ~ |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
I enjoyed the truth in this tale. In many ways it touches part of all of us. Thank you, Melton |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
There a sickly child stood blush-- head down chanting prayer's escape-- she prayed for gifts--command of voice, the presence just to meet his stare. She danced in place from foot to foot wishing he would speak to her. Anger would demand her head and laughter would brand her the fool. The peoples of the clan gave way in deference to Holy Man-- he inspected folly's knave she steeled herself for reprimand wishing she were not so slight and that her blood pulsed royalty she willed herself to stand upright against rebellion of her knees. He circled her in widdershin scratching at his chin in thought-- the journeyman of visions keep-- he took her gently by the chin to scry for omens in her eyes, he laughed when he found innocence. "Go home to your mother, child. I'm in need of warriors." But she begged his audience, "I pray the mercy of favor. Grant me just a moment's ear-- hear me and I'll take my leave." He took his throne and gathered robe, a nod and smile spoke his assent. "Here, I bid you, come and sit-- explain to me why you are fit to travel where the mighty men have gone and not returned." "It's true that I am slight of build, I have no strength to carry arms-- but should you send me to the dark, I'd prefer the shadow's garm as metals clashing war give spark and armor has distinctive sound denying me my stealth of slight-- I can hide as no one can in this raiment of my skin." ================================= Time and time again you prove by your writing that you are poetry...I dont know whats more impressive in this..the depth of the story telling, the mastery of rhyme and vocab..the personify and imagery...all of it is pure, brilliant writing...this is reminiscent of Poe..or our own Michael Anderson. Im reading this and remembering you comments about "dry information" and tinsel and glitter"...*smiling* baby... you dazzel with your words, spirit and heart. If this is "rough" most wont touch polished   |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
just came back cuz I forgot to say I LOVE THIS LINE.... I can hide as no one can in this raiment of my skin." poetic skin that youre in. |
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Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
I have missed your pen, yanno? |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Karen, once again, my friend, you have left me speechless......trying to think of what I can say to you to let you know for real just how much this story touched me. I will say, SereneOne, that this one made me have chills. You really are doing what you said in your reply........I'm kind of ambling my way around again, not quite sure what I'm looking for, and I won't be, until I find it. Me too, my friend......me too.........though I am 99.99% sure that I have found it. With love and hugs, sweet lady Ethel (pssssssttttttt!!!! hey, I sure did write a long reply for somebody who is "speechless", didn't I?? ahahahahaha LOL) |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
SErenity, I wasn't up to posting much tonight, but I saw your name and had to stop by. Glad I did! This is absolutely incredible! I'm wondering how you could possibly improve upon it! I'm pretty sure this in my favorite of yours, but I'd have to do a search to know for sure... I envy your talent. ~Sadelite~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I wish I could convey how much your replies mean to me--the love and encouragement is heartening and shows the true grace and generosity of Pip. I've been having a hard time writing poetry of late (as the Cap noted, my head is more into prose twinings these days) so I apologize for the length, and I'm grateful for your patience while I experiment once again. You're all just wonderful. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
OMG Karen this is superb, I loved every single line every single image and feeling it portrayed. You're absolutely enchanting! PUBLISH!!!!! pleaseeee  and by that I mean all your work.M Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. (by Virginia Woolf) |
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