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Terrina
Member

since 2003-12-31

Posts 166
California

0 posted 2004-01-21 11:05 AM

This is something I have been struggling with for sometime.

Why is it I have a problem being lonely?
If only I could recognize that by yourself doesn't mean alone.
My friends sip wine, listen to jazz,
pass the time by reading novels,
marvel in the warmth of themselves.
They understand the beauty of shelved photo albums.
They flip as they sip, and they remember
their clever youth.

They don't wish to be back there,
or stare and wonder, what if?
They just cuddle up closer to an old sweater,
and remember that life is better,
and age brings wisdom,
and they are wiser for having lived full enough,
to enjoy time alone,
without clutter,
and useless chit chat,
and this and that,
and stuff.

It's tough to admit that you don't have enough love inside to sustain yourself.
Maintain enough dignity to just love yourself.
Produce enough energy to keep yourself alive.
Rely on someone to pick you up, fill you up,
spill you out; it's killing me.
This urge to need.

A buried seed that hasn't seen sun, and cannot begin and has never begun.
Lock me up in a small room, white walls, flowers in a jar, a new car smell.
I'll dwell there.
See how long I can last there.

Try to care about real issues,
and enjoy food before I swallow it,
and make things from scratch.
Draw even though I cant, chant and fall down laughing.

Fall in love with myself.
I may never be lonely again.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2004-01-21 11:12 AM

read this once... and will be back to read it again I am sure...

you may have been struggling with the feelings inside this poem and perhaps struggling to express them.. but you have expressed them.. and done as good a job in doing so as I have seen..

I enjoyed.. for its honesty and insights..

well done

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

2 posted 2004-01-21 11:12 AM

"Fall in love with myself.
I may never be lonely again."

..you know the answer now you just have to do it!... you said it all so well, im sure you can do it...

choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York

3 posted 2004-01-21 01:00 PM

I really enjoy the frankness and informality here...like we are having a conversation ~C

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-01-21 01:04 PM

you just won a long-term battle

and helped me with mine

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

5 posted 2004-01-21 01:58 PM

I related to so much of this...many of us know this struggle...the regret of whats gone..the loneliness inside we carry,

we arent as alone as we feel..

your struggle resulted in a wisdom filled outpouring of honesty.
well done Terrina.

How foolish must man be, not to be impressed by mountains and trees
not to be brought to his knees by the beauty of the sky and sea

Cherokee Lore

Terrina
Member

since 2003-12-31

Posts 166
California

6 posted 2004-01-21 04:16 PM

Listening to you comments is almost as healing as writing the poem. Thank you all.

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

7 posted 2004-01-23 09:39 PM

Terrina,

   Sorry I missed this one earlier.  I'd been trying to keep a tab on peoples' writing, but have been busy...   The good news is...because my procrastination, you my good lady, have just been bumped to the top!
   Terrina, this was outstanding in thought and flow.   It was something many can relate to...       Thank you.
          ~Sadelite~

Copperbell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-08

Posts 956

8 posted 2004-01-24 12:12 PM

There's a little hole that needs to be filled with love in us all.

Thanks for sharing girl. I know that feeling too - And even having a husband doesn't fill that need...(I used to think it was his job to fill it)

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

9 posted 2004-01-24 12:33 PM

What an honest write this is. Questions probably everyone has asked. This was an exceptional write. Thank you for sharing it.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

10 posted 2004-01-24 01:23 AM

I think you've found the secret to loving is to first love yourself...your writing was an excellent journey...thank you for letting us go along for the very profound ride.

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