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Open Poetry #30
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2004-01-21 10:39 AM


I’ve caged you
Oh heart of mine
Locked away that spring feel
I’ve drown you
In flood of time
Weighed down by heavy will

Roasted in summer
Tamed despite color’s fill
To resign to icy days
The beating now grows still

The chill spills through the bars of iron,
Touching the smooth stone where lying
No strength left to shiver freezing has begun
And the prisoner is slowly dying.

Gloom


© Copyright 2004 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2004-01-21 10:47 AM


Professor
It's the same question, do we have choice of will? Good write.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2004-01-21 10:59 AM


very well done Proff.  I did enjoy this one...
Lady In White
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
3 posted 2004-01-21 11:11 AM


Professor, you know how much
we would give
to have you allow us to
show you the warm,
but as you have stated before,
this is where you wish to be...

we personalize so many of the poems
in here.  You are probably in the Bahamas,
soaking up the sand,
just making us think of a chilled will.

Well done, Sir.

muted
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since 2004-01-15
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
4 posted 2004-01-21 11:20 AM


though this is chilly, even as it saddens me...it managed to lull me softly as well!

gentle, sad read much enjoyed

Terrina
Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 166
California
5 posted 2004-01-21 11:24 AM


True to your name,
but a great poem nonetheless,
thank you for sharing.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2004-01-21 11:44 AM


"The chill spills through the bars of iron,
Touching the smooth stone where lying
No strength left to shiver freezing has begun
And the prisoner is slowly dying."

As I am sure is true with most the women on these pages...you stole a piece of me the first moment I read you...so sad..all I wanted to do was make it better...

You have a gift for writing it so very well..


"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

Michelle_loves_Mike
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Senior Member
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189
Pennsylvania
7 posted 2004-01-21 12:08 PM


let the prisoner out,,,,,
good work
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2004-01-21 12:47 PM


I do know...yes
McLean
Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484
state of marital bliss
9 posted 2004-01-21 12:52 PM


Creepy sad, is what I feel after eyeballing your words.  Is that what you were going for, or am I off-base?

McLean

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

10 posted 2004-01-21 02:06 PM


Vivid.

[This message has been edited by Sadelite (01-21-2004 09:49 PM).]

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
11 posted 2004-01-21 02:36 PM


Thank you, All
I am most appreciative of the responses.
Originally the last stanza was the poem was written,
But I thought it needed just a bit more explanation,
So I wrote the other
And Lady in White, how did you know

I got caught, Mon
At Pointe Les Salinas laying in the sun
On sandy beach drinking
Sketch pad and pen in hand
As birthday clad beauties run
So much skin I be thinking
Was that she skittering by
Usually only seen at night
With so much shown to catch the eye
Was that our Lady in White?

t'was single digits her last night
all else must have been a dream



And for McLean’s what I was trying,
Like I said I was trying to tone it down, so creepy sad was not my plan.
But is so much my tendency, it’s hard for me not to.

As for those that wish to make it better
T’is something I’ve struggled with for years upon years now.

Once again
Thanks to all

Gloom

Lady In White
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since 2001-02-12
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USA
12 posted 2004-01-21 02:46 PM


So that WAS you, ‘twas you,
The Mon
Lying there in the sun
Capturing beauties with a pen,
Capturing every one
‘twas you I saw, all there in black
lying in the sand
I thought you waved, for I waved back,
I thought you waved your hand.

For I would run among the waves,
Among the waves so blue,
And little did I know, or might know,
That the professor would be there too!
Now you know where Lady would live,
There, on the beaches so white
Now walk with me, oh Professor, Do!
Under the blanket of night.



Thank you, Professor.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
13 posted 2004-01-21 09:23 PM


Gandolf the Gray -- this was beautiful poetry but I hope it is not reality...only word wizardry.         ..jo
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