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Open Poetry #30
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muted
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

0 posted 2004-01-20 02:45 PM



Those days were always heated..
crisp white sheets beating against the wind
and mama's sway blushing the cheeks
of all those spying sun beams
and beads of sweat.

The majesty of tangled hair wrapped tight
in a faded red hankie
the one that complimented the colour of
her lips, after daddy put us to bed.

And the world that woman knew
fit neatly in the basket
strewn with yesterdays peach cobbler
and tomorrows goodbye kisses..
the ones all children behave for,
cause we know magic doesnt come from apron strings
it came from those that tacked her heart up
tightly to her breast.

Often i wanted longer days gazing
at her brown skin, aging and fading
ah, but my thrift knew that meant the candle would burn out sooner
So i let the nights rest my mother
knowing that her voice would break my dreams
long before then hens laid my breakfast.

But, the labels on her sticky jam jars were washing away
with each spring clean
And filled each were after the harvests, but always left more tired looking
than the seasons before.
Just like my mama

I'll never tire of sunday mornings best
of clean hands before supper
of crisp white sheets beating against the wind
And the way children behave
when waiting for their mama's goodbye kisses.

`

Someday I'll fly, Someday I'll soar,
Someday I'll be So damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body
Gives me credit for.
~John Mayer

© Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2004-01-20 02:49 PM


Dawn I had  chosen this verse as a favorite:
And the world that woman knew
fit neatly in the basket
strewn with yesterdays peach cobbler
and tomorrows goodbye kisses..
the ones all children behave for,
cause we know magic doesnt come from apron strings
it came from those that tacked her heart up
tightly to her breast.


Then decided..I love it all~~

I would think you too young to have a mother as described here... but even if  metaphorically..it is beautiful

Maureen

p.s. I love the picture

Terrina
Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 166
California
2 posted 2004-01-20 02:53 PM


I love every bit of this. I love poetry that tells a story, that you can follow and dream and become a part of.
You've taken me there.
Thank you

Cpat Hair
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3 posted 2004-01-20 02:54 PM


nicely told... I always enjoy a good story.. and a good metaphor is welcome anytime.


Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
4 posted 2004-01-20 02:55 PM


Thank you very, very much...
muted
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
5 posted 2004-01-20 03:04 PM


Maureen: believe it or not, when i was a small child, my mother did make her own jam and pickles and various jarred vegies! we had a vegtable patch in our back yard..(and we did live in the city)..but we are from the south, and my mother did make peach cobbler, and we did go to church....but overall...the story is a metaphor! im so glad you like it!! cause as tacky as it sounds, i just about started crying reading to myself! (and thank you for liking my photo )

Terrina: im so glad you were "taken there", its a nice thought to be in

Cpat: LOL, me a storyteller? i bow down to you great one...*giggle*....thank you

Sunshine: you are very very welcome! so nice to have you here in this space, sharing my little dream.

Cpat Hair
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6 posted 2004-01-20 03:10 PM


"i bow down to you great one"

lmao. whether said with tongue in cheek, sarcastic, or in play... referring to me as a great one is bound to be funny....

you told a nice story here... so accept that fact and hush that gigling...

poetically ghetto
Member
since 2004-01-20
Posts 100

7 posted 2004-01-20 03:58 PM


what a powerful piece
you just know a lot of work
went into this
thanx for sharing

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2004-01-20 04:05 PM


I love it..I love it..I love it!!
And therefore I proclaim it a keeper!
Into my library it goes.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

Mistletoe Angel
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9 posted 2004-01-20 04:13 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwwwww, this beautiful poem brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me so much of my grandma and grandpa, sweet friend, they always love to harvest blackberries and raspberries and pumpkins out in the garden and every autumn we come to visit and they'd make the most delicious cobblers and I'd help hang clothes on the clothesline and memorize proverbs from grandma's beautiful china plates into my heart to cherish forever! (big angel hugs) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is a treasure, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Dawn, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

muted
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
10 posted 2004-01-20 05:25 PM


Cpat: *zipping up my lip*...saving giggles for later!

Poetically: well, not alot of work, just alot of emotion..thank you so much

Enchantress: *SMILE* you have made my day!

Noah: oh, i love blackberries....im so glad sweet memories were shared between us..thank you!

garysgirl
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11 posted 2004-01-20 08:19 PM


Dawn, I loved this story, and am glad that your Mama (my Southern talk), did these things for you so that you would think of it to write about. This was beautiful and you had your readers right there. By the way, my Mom still makes jellies, jams, peach cobblers, etc. She doesn't hang clothes on the line anymore, but she used to.

(Oh, and I like the picture, too.)
  Ethel  

iliana
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since 2003-12-05
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USA
12 posted 2004-01-20 09:10 PM


Muted, I have goosebumps!  This hit so close to my heart!  Beautiful, beautiful poem.  What a wonderful mother.  
Nightshade
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just out of reach
13 posted 2004-01-20 09:34 PM


Oh, what a treasure this is! Library bound!! hugs, Chris

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know
that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4



    

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
14 posted 2004-01-21 08:58 AM


Dawn, you paint such a beautiful image here...filled in with such shades of emotion. While reading so many warm memories of my own childhood began to stir up. i love when poems can evoke so well...Thank you ~C  
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind
15 posted 2004-01-21 09:10 AM


beautiful, indeed!!

~*~
In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes art

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
16 posted 2004-01-21 09:14 AM


Took me back to the days when my own mother hung the sheets, and canned jams and vegies.

Very nicely told.

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

A Romantic Heart
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since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
17 posted 2004-01-21 12:20 PM


Dawn~ You have great talent in writing poetry, I agree with the story telling, you are great at making the reader feel your experiance~

~ARH

Open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart, let me come in and show you love.....~ARH

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
18 posted 2004-01-21 12:42 PM


thank you for the kind memories *smile*
McLean
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since 2004-01-05
Posts 484
state of marital bliss
19 posted 2004-01-21 12:43 PM


Salutations, muted.

This is just a beautiful writing, so full of senses and memories.  I love the "labels on the jam jars" image, and comparing it to her "fading".  That is so creative and simply perfect in turning this scene into something tangible.

Way to go!

McLean

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

20 posted 2004-05-08 05:40 PM


Jeez Dawn, this is absolutely incredible..Cpat is right, ya a good storyteller lovely lady.

Happy Mothers Day!

I'm keeping it CTM

M

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colours, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

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