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Open Poetry #30

The Forlorn Sun

Ben
Junior Member

since 2004-01-17

Posts 21

0 posted 2004-01-18 05:22 AM

Within the binds of his eyes she cannot run
Powerless and feeble under the forlorn Saudi sun
Down her cheek the tepid solution spills
From a mundane view of pallid hills

Faceless women gather around
As she lies spread out on searing ground
With emptiness consuming her mind
The jolting blade is raised by her own kind
Piercing the possessed atmosphere with her screams
They be obeying the devils will in a hollow means
As shots of blood brutalize the scenes

In a mutawa set stage
She dwells in the golden cage
Tears falling in silent rage
Flames revolting over dreams of a blissful page
Shackled in the jewels of Al Sa'ud
She slice’s thoughts in her cerebral feud

Under nuptial demand
The morning sun breaths on deaths sand
As clean sheets are seized in her devils hand
His eyes sending shots down her spine
Clutching her shoulders she falls to the line

Memory of lineage shame across a trembling hand
Cast aside on violet dyed sand
As her shattered mouth coughs blood she moans
Her body jerking amongst soaring stones
Under the forlorn Saudi sun she lies cold and raw
A memory of nothing, no one, nobody, no more

McLean
Member

since 2004-01-05

Posts 484
state of marital bliss

1 posted 2004-01-18 05:58 AM

This is such a sad story. I like some of your word choices here very much, ie: "the tepid solution spills" and "slice’s thoughts in her cerebral feud". Very good.

McLean

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2004-01-18 02:21 PM

OhBen~
I felt the poignancy of your message ...
hurts to read ... but the pain must be known~
I have read of the stonings in the newspapers... but you brought it home in this piece~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2004-01-18 02:54 PM

Great piece of writing, Ben.

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