green cloths and peachy cheeks have seen your eyes

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Open Poetry #30

green cloths and peachy cheeks have seen your eyes

redheart angrybraids
Member

since 2000-04-16

Posts 410
honolulu, hawaii

0 posted 2004-01-15 05:58 AM

to the blue outlet runner for
independance
subsequent to the differnce between
me and you
the long blue snow twingkled in the secret steet light as we walked past/
blank in the steps of our crystal ghosts /

there is a path
that sparkles clear of foggy green clothes and peachy round cheecks.

no one has seen your eyes the way I do.

Kindly,
Redheart Angrybraids

rainydaymusic
Junior Member

since 2004-01-14

Posts 26

1 posted 2004-01-15 08:23 AM

no one has seen your eyes the way i do.

Lines like that always get me. It's good, although I think you could strengthen some of the images in the top part.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2004-01-15 08:51 AM

"there is a path
that sparkles clear of foggy green clothes and peachy round cheecks.

no one has seen your eyes the way I do."

Fantastic imagery...and it's SO good to read your words here!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
an invincible summer.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2004-01-15 08:55 AM

nice... it almost floats on teh mind as read...something of the form is very appealing.. I enjoyed

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-01-15 12:38 PM

hello

good write. nice to see you here again

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2004-01-15 06:55 PM

Very nice...James

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2004-01-15 08:32 PM

"no one has seen your eyes the way I do."

and no one has seen the world quite the way you do--until now.

and that is a gift, m'lady.

I thank you.

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 727
Wisconsin

7 posted 2004-01-16 12:57 PM

Beautiful, brought a smile to my face

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

8 posted 2004-01-16 01:24 PM

"the long blue snow twingkled in the secret steet light as we walked past/
blank in the steps of our crystal ghosts /"

Your words are used so creatively!

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