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Open Poetry #30
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alan6501
Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89
PA

0 posted 2004-01-14 10:41 PM



MICHELLE

Silence speaks, As does volume
The volume of your silence makes me hurt

I never meant to unnerve you
I only meant to strike a nerve

We are friends and I do not doubt that
I just doubt my own self

Insecurities rage in and through me
Sometime I need reassured that you care

It’s not that I doubt your loyalty
I just I doubt what I believe

I believe I found someone who truly cares
That is why I ask these questions

I know that this causes unnecessary sadness
Sadness which I sometimes can’t control

However, it’s not you that causes the sadness
It’s my own unsure self

If anything, you are the reason I am happy
On days when I just need a friend

So if it’s any worth, an inkling of what you are worth
Can you find it in your heart to speak to me again?

****************************************************


I just wrote this about 10 minutes ago and it's for a friend that got upset with me. I like how it turned out especially considering how fast it was written. I care so much for her. Anyways, what do you guys think?

© Copyright 2004 Alan B. Stallsmith - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2004-01-14 11:35 PM


Nice...James
Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
2 posted 2004-01-15 02:00 AM


I predict you'll do some polishing after it's rested a while, but it's already quite good, and there's depth in the ideas as well as the writing.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-01-15 03:44 AM


I'm sure the upset will be forgotten after reading this...nice write, heartfelt
Michelle_loves_Mike
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2004-01-15 07:30 AM


"If anything, you are the reason I am happy
On days when I just need a friend"


The times that my best friend has given me hope on a bleak day, smiles from frowns, and laughs from tears,,,,are immeasurable....
Hang in there kid, a real friend will forgive and forget
Besides,I know how obstinate ladies named Michelle can be,,,,,,

Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
5 posted 2004-01-15 08:41 AM


I think this is a wonderful write,
and the fact that it so easily wrote
itself, says a lot I hope that you
and your friend can work things out.
Sometimes by doubting ourselves, it
comes across as doubting those in our
life, when really that is not the case.
If you truly apologise and are sincere,
I am sure she will understand.
Take care,
Amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

alan6501
Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89
PA
6 posted 2004-01-15 01:28 PM


Thank you for all of the wonderful feedback. After reading it a couple more times I realized I could definitely make it more strong. It is very fresh and for some reason I really wanted to share it with people.

As for me and my friend, I saw while walking back from class and she gave me a big smile and we parted ways cause she was headed to her own class. I think things should work out nicely between us. I'm just going to give her time and have her "come back to me."

Once again, thanks for the great feedback!!! You guys are the best!!

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