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Open Poetry #30
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Muddy Delta Blues (a duet with Cpat Hair)
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Muddy Delta Blues (a duet with Cpat Hair) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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sometimes the splashes on the highwalls--ping, just like piano keys tinkling from the barges with the bored silhouettes of men gazing back from the vision of blackness punctuated by the slaps of waves on metal hulls that no longer in any organic way mimic the hewn and pegged planks used to build flat bottoms but the sounds now are in half keyed dishevelment an octave away from the voice so low she sings she sways-- belly swollen guttural birthing all unsaid as waves lick the sweat from furrowed brows sparkles in the mud moan soft on the keen of wind leaving ears cluttered with whispers " On turner's bend she lies" " Please! I plead...." "It's a muddy sky" as her water breaks her need convincing those who know too well "there are barges drowned beneath" interfering with the dredge silently in motion's build the jars of clay in want of sand hastens to the levee breach take my hand. Just take my hand.... now squeeze this last gasp of wind and listen yes to hear again I was of this muddy wasteful place a child of all that would take place and she the one who gave me soul "Run the whole" "She's broke you know" nodding to caliope she said-- "I know" agreeing in the shy smiling as the river rose splashing her bare feet in tide reds revealed by laughing rock... blues I know against the dock [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (01-14-2004 07:48 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Don't ask me how this has gone over an hour without a response.....it's magnificent! Two metaphor magicians blending their talents as few can....why can't I write like this??? NUTS!  |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Outstanding! ! ! Brava, Brava! ! ! This is my favorite of yours so far, and I'm saving it, okay? |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
OMG!! This is one amazing write! Please du-et again...soon!! ~Hugs to you both, Nancy~ In the midst of winter.. |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
A wonderful combining of talent and creativity. believe in what your heart feels... |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
this is lovely i feel the sway Kindly, |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
two of my favorite writers in one brilliant little package. it doesn't get much better than this. great job, both of you. |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
"she sways-- belly swollen guttural birthing all unsaid" it as if this passage weaves it all into existence magnificant peice. i miss you serenity karen blaze kindly amelia R.A. Kindly, |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"I was of this muddy wasteful place a child of all that would take place and she the one who gave me soul" It seems to me that the river is the wiser, more experienced of the waters...and you have to listen closely to hear her speak.. Clearly you two have listened and understood.. "sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
....damn.... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thanks all.. karen wrote the hard parts..lol.. no wait..Karen wrote most of it... but you could tell that couldn't you..since it turned out so nice..  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sigh. Here we go again. (he never takes credit) the truth is HE wrote most of it, all I did was throw abuncha words at him--he edited and made them focus. (I have a real problem with focus.) Thanks all for reading, and thanks for playing with me Cap. :squeeeze: |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ah now Karen..you know playing with ya was fun..you shared your trucks and cars not to mention the boats..and didn't once twist the head off my GI Joe doll... mom did say however, that next time I had to leave the pet gator at your house... seems her little dog is missing and she blames the gator... |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Hey you two!! This is simply amazing. Going back to read it a third time! hugs, Chris "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Chris... glad you enjoyed the write... and appreciate your taking time to srop a line.. Karens did good on this..lol.. and is still trying to make it part mine.. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
don't mind him, folks, he's just trying to goad me into spanking him.   to Cap.gotta run. "Serenity's Day Out"  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh spank away... knock that humble right out o'him. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
It takes two. *S* And there's no evidence of a slacker here... none at all. *S* Excellent work... I thoroughly enjoyed! *S* |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
*you can keep a moth off of the computer...but not off of a duet by two of my favorite poets*  Ya knew I'd ride your lovely poetic currents, didnt ya  Nature poets can't walk across the backyard without tripping over an epiphany. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Yep, sure reads like Karen wrote all the good parts... But Ron's good for filling in those "ands" and "ifs", makes him feel useful, ya know?? Ya'll done good!! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Laughing at Duncan! Now this duet calls for more you realize that right? |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Heya sis...been too long! (eghem..hint hint) and grins... You two are lovely here...I still feel as if floating in the wonders of your mind...my treat, yes?? This is just spilling with emotion...I've deprived myself for too long.... love you K Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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