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Open Poetry #30
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The Tree
| Open Poetry #30 |
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The Tree |
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nothing Junior Member
since 2004-01-10
Posts 23Northumberland, UK |
In a sheltered place, where the bitter North wind Does not sweep the Earth and Autumn's frost lies But light upon the ground, there, standing proud, Once grew a tree of grace beneath the skies. From gentle withy it grew, and green buds Of leaf it spread to catch the morning's light And dew. And so it grew, so prosperous That its roots spread far, and such was its height It dwarfed its fellows all around. The tree, Though of great power, in one way was weak. To sustain its roots searched deeply, and found Deep in the ground a place where they must halt And turn aside - the rock beneath was hard - The roots could pry apart no seam or fault. In a desolate place that holds no green Nor flower, where the sun seems not to pry, Still lives a tree of warped and stunted form That, though sick and parched, does not want to die. The poem I'm most proud of. Be gentle ;-) Making sense is overrated DeviantArt - All kinds of art by nothing |
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| © Copyright 2004 nothing - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I gather the sense of roots curling and holding on to very barren, rocky ground, anything to maintain a foothold over time. I am not sure if you meant this to be free verse, as there is rhyme, but most of it seems internal instead of at the end of each line. I can see why this one pleases you. Thank you for sharing. [This message has been edited by Sunshine (01-12-2004 03:37 PM).] |
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nothing Junior Member
since 2004-01-10
Posts 23Northumberland, UK |
Thankyou. Yes, I made sure that the more powerful rhymes weren't at the line ends, although I tried to keep a decent rhyme scheme for the ends too. The rhythm is broken in a technique impressed on me when studying Chaucer, varying where you end the phrases in the line to give the illusion of free flowing speech, whilst still maintaining the same number of syllables per line. Seems it was effective =) |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
you have right to be proud,,,,great write,,,, trees are wonderous sentries,,,, we proclaim our love on their bark,,,, find adventure in their branches find shelter of all sort underneath,, thru it all,,,, they stand silent,,,watching,,and remembering Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
I really, really, really liked your poem and will add it to my library if that's okay with you. (I wrote a poem about a tree once -- if I can find it, I'll post it, too, at a future date.) |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write...very much enjoyed. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ In the midst of winter.. |
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Ravenwolfvoyager Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326 |
You should be proud too, I could tell that you contributed much to this write as much as I enjoyed reading this. You have the gift. Keep up the good work!!! |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
I liked it, too. Sometimes I have a tendency to rush to the finish line when reading poetry, but yours was different. I slowed my tempo the further I read along. It was too good, too much to savor to rush the read. Lots of wisdom there... Sadelite |
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