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Open Poetry #30
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Chill
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Chill |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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Chill a thin cold draft edges in; the air knows it will frost tonight, and my heart knows as I shiver inward in spite of the fire rough sparse white will coat the morning like an old man's chin and all the flowers die I think of covering them to spare the blooms a day but it's pointless tomorrow a blue sky day of sun and yellow breezes happy but for this |
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| © Copyright 2004 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Ratleader, Your poem was well expressed in every way. I enjoyed this poem about the changing weather. rough sparse white will coat the morning like an old man's chin and all the flowers die I think of covering them to spare the blooms a day but it's pointless It sounds like you're keeping the chin up despite the weather... Take care. Sadie |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Be happy you weren't on the east coast last week and this coming one...bitter cold. Nice writing~ M |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
oo, brrr. Sounds like our blue sky northwest days of sun and yellow breezes. I detect some loneliness in this write. ~K~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
rough sparse white will coat the morning like an old man's chin and all the flowers die Share that fire, my friend... your poem painted frost so vividly it gave me shivers! *S* The beauty of one moment becomes the shriveled brown of the next... but this poem's beauty is enduring. *S* |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Well done. Enjoyed this. hugs, Chris "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
a thin cold draft edges in; the air knows it will frost tonight, and my heart knows as I shiver inward in spite of the fire Ed, sometimes there's a shiver regardless of the fire. You always make me think, my friend.  Hugs  Ethel |
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Ravenwolfvoyager Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326 |
A great write Ratleader, you have a great gift for drawing the reader into the realism of your thoughts through your words. Enjoyed very much!! |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Definitely feel loneliness here but its told with the hope of trying... And I guess thats all you can do sometimes. Beautiful. Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
And a fan I will remain! This is excellent! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Sounds like a blow up Bob doll, you can knock him down all you want, but he's pulling some serious weight and will bounce back every time. Don't ask me where I came up with that! Love the air you're breathing here... Ratleader~  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
excellent! |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Wow...!!! Eric |
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Bonnie j Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588Ohio |
Yes have that white stuff covering the ground and that nasty ice to go with it. But! Guess What!. A neighbor raised bunnies last year and then decided to set them free.Well now I have two adorable little bunnies that come and visit. The one has been out longer and is a little timid. But the other comes right up and stands on his hind legs as if to say hello. When I rattle a bag they both come running cause they are looking for the treat of carrots and food. Nice little surprise for the winter season. See Ya Bon-Bon  |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Just chillin' with you. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
the metaphor is well delivered here and allows one to play the meaning on their mind as only a passing report on weather changes or the changes of weather one experiences in their emotions.. well done sir... |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Nicely done. I would probably have mucked it up, but you kept it clean and crisp. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
sometimes I think that those we think to be the smartest are just the best at timing the cycles of life...even as the frost wills, it comes; so life imitates nature. Your imagery was beautiful. |
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ambrya_nell Junior Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 28Ohio |
wonderful imagery.. it's what's going on outside my window right now... very chilly... loved this poem... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Read this yesterday, but it shivered away so fast that I skidded on the ice in trying to give it a glowing response... for I would not want it to melt away...  Thanks, Ed...for all you write. |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Ed...Enjoyed. Very tender.Thanks for sharing...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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richard taylor Member
since 2004-01-13
Posts 136 |
Hi Ratleader, This is very fine writing, I am no excpert in this form but I do know when I read good thought out work. regards Richard. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...The cold and warm is a condition of heart sometimes...I felt that in this poem. Warm hugs! |
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