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Open Poetry #30
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ambrya_nell
Junior Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 28
Ohio

0 posted 2004-01-11 03:35 AM


Hi everyone.. i'm new here.. thought i'd share a poem that sort of describes me right now..
I hope you all like it and I can't wait to read some of your poetry.



I move through days like whispers
Listening to the anguish & whimpers

Lost soul, Bruised faith,
Forgotten to those who've gone astray.

I sneak by with my shining shield
Blinding those quick to turn away

Lost soul, Bruised faith,
Forgotten to those who've gone astray.

I move through life like a sigh,
A soft sound heard by few.

A lost soul with a bruised faith
...forgotten to all except you.

© Copyright 2004 ambrya_nell - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-01-11 05:01 AM


great writing!

Welcome to Passions

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-01-11 05:56 AM


oooh...welcome!

this had a certain--hmmm..I dunno, I heard celtic music in my head as I read--

you've quite captivated me with this, as it sounds like a liturgy:

"Lost soul, Bruised faith,
Forgotten to those who've gone astray."

I took some significance to the capitalization of the word "bruised" in that, duly noting the lower case exception in your final stanza:

A lost soul with a bruised faith

I love this consideration of language and form to a concise whole.

Nice...

and once again? Welcome.




McLean
Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484
state of marital bliss
3 posted 2004-01-11 08:00 AM


Welcome to the forum...I think you'll like it here.  Have faith!  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2004-01-11 09:35 AM


AmbryaNell~

'I move through life like a sigh,
A soft sound heard by few.'


This says sooooo much ... I think many of us poets move through life in soft poetic sighs~
BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
         noles1@totcon.com

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2004-01-11 09:47 AM


ambrya,
Welcome and enjoyed the read.

ambrya_nell
Junior Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 28
Ohio
6 posted 2004-01-12 02:45 PM


thank you all again...  Yes.. I think most of us move through life that way... I guess the lucky ones are the ones that catch the sigh huh?
Nice to meet you all.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2004-01-13 12:14 PM


I heard the whisper!  Good writing.
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