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ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

0 posted 2004-01-10 01:52 PM

It comes and goes
   in passing
   a stand, a strand
   black as night
   and flashing

Weathered and worn
   still dreams weave
   a tint, a hint
   just insight
   I believe

It strikes a hold
   forever
   in deep, in keep
   in its plight
   pass never

A cut beyond
   my heart through
   the looks I took
   from the light
   baring you

One's outlook can be another's expression.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2004-01-10 02:05 PM

the rhyme scheme here is awesome!

great piece Craig!

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-01-10 02:11 PM

Your poem made me go through it and try to understand the emotions and the reason.

One of the problems of writing poetry is that people feel you must have experienced it to be able to write.

For those of you who believe this read Thomas Hood.

Very emotional, very angry, very "I should have, had better from these people" poem.

Analysis of the subject words.

You feel you made the right decision but wish you had some alternative.

You tried and you tried but it wasn't there anymore and you wanted more than just existence.

Relatives tried to force you to carry on and attacked you when you wouldn't.

You still have your dreams but no-one wants to know.

You sub-consciously feel they are right.

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

3 posted 2004-01-10 02:25 PM

I am truly whistling Dixie at this very moment!!!!!! *S

Dave .... I agree that no one has to live any situation in order to write of it , they just have to believe. If they believe with heart and soul, passionate words can be found and poetry is at birth.
The rest of your analysis ....... sorry, D+
I was writing of a dark haired woman who caught my eye a long time ago and though she has changed her looks with different hairstyles, she still catches my eye.
nice try though ..... maybe next time!

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

4 posted 2004-01-10 08:22 PM

dont fully get it but i like it, it sings

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