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alan6501
Member

since 2004-01-03

Posts 89
PA

0 posted 2004-01-09 04:32 PM

MENTION YOUR INTENTION

“Go Away” I say with the intention to mention the damnation that patience is just a form of trust

But you wouldn’t understand where I’m coming from—“Would you?” because every instinct you go by is eaten away by lust

This flame consumes you till your self judgment is gone
It tears away at your meaning till you don’t even have one

So what are you going to do when you stoop down this low?
Are you going to plead to me that in some twisted way it was love you were trying to show?

Or mention your intention to gain my acceptation after putting me through all of this sorrow?

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

1 posted 2004-01-09 04:39 PM

I really liked the format and rhyme of this.

Not to mention the message..

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2004-01-09 04:43 PM

Alan~
I greatly enjoyed the title of this piece~

Quite the emote of emotions~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com

Michelle_loves_Mike

Senior Member

since 2003-12-20

Posts 1189
Pennsylvania

3 posted 2004-01-09 09:21 PM

wow, so many people confuse lust and love,,,it is a wonderful, wonderful day, once the difference is learned,,,,,altho, lusting after the one you are in love with, is pretty good too

very good
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

[This message has been edited by Michelle_loves_Mike (01-09-2004 11:25 PM).]

Youngatheart
Member

since 2003-12-30

Posts 333

4 posted 2004-01-09 09:29 PM

I really liked this, alan.
Michelle...lusting after the one you love is WONDERFUL.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Brad_Smith
Member

since 2004-01-09

Posts 70
Dallas, Texas

5 posted 2004-01-09 10:33 PM

so so true Michelle! Whats more seductive than the one you love? NOTHING!!!

alan6501
Member

since 2004-01-03

Posts 89
PA

6 posted 2004-01-10 03:58 PM

Thank you guys for all of the great feedback! This poem has always been one of my favorites of mine, and I'm not quite sure why. I'll be the first to admit it, I have not found that one person to love in that certain way but I wrote this while I was highly infatuated with somebody. But I think I've always known the difference between lust and love. Whenever I DO find someone to love and lust after, that will be such a great day!!! Anyways, glad you liked it.

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