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Open Poetry #30
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On Seeing the Ex
| Open Poetry #30 |
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On Seeing the Ex |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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We were such innocents when we first met I fervently denied the notion, yet There was great need to rob my past of power You enhanced its hold; love and trust were soured I couldn’t be the person you wanted So you found others, blatantly flaunted Theories of why all fault and blame were mine Looking back now, my major lack was spine To raise yourself, you chose to belittle My silence gifting you with acquittal “Failure” was drummed deep enough in my head Decades passed before that stigma was shed But loving another forced me to see That much of the blame does lie within me I tried to play one who’s not what I am Our entire marriage was nothing but sham We both are at fault for all that went wrong But now we’re both where we always belonged Now there’s honesty, no need for pretense We have grown enough to again be friends |
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| © Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Looking back now, my major lack was spine Boy, that was a mouthful! Good write, how what we humans will compromise for peace...in denial...for fear of being critized for being our selves, which I might add is a very nice place to be. |
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McLean Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484state of marital bliss |
What a wonderful thing, when that time finally arrives, that you can be civil and friend-like to someone who once birthed such awful emotion in you. I think I'm reaching that time, myself, and this glimpse of preview that I'm seeing is a very good thing. You stated this very well. McLean |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
suthern Wonderful write but it always takes two to tango.  |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Its great when that point can be reached, if it can be reached, but there are those who don't want to ever get there.... Very well done Suthern... |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Suthern lady, this is a very heartfelt write, and I really liked it. It is a very good thing to be able to become friends after heartache and misunderstandings.  Hugs  Ethel |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I knew I could relate to this when I saw the title |
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Terrina Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 166California |
I couldn’t be the person you wanted So you found others, blatantly flaunted Theories of why all fault and blame were mine Looking back now, my major lack was spine What a great verse to sum it all up. I am there now. I knew it was over for so long, and just kept letting myself pretend that we were happy... thank you so much for this. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Now there’s honesty, no need for pretense We have grown enough to again be friends This is good to know Ruth. Being friends at least helps somewhat. hugs, Chris  "At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Ruth - excellent poem - but you seem to be inconsistent. You say you now have a spine, but you still like Toerag, don't you? lol |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SuthernSweetie~ 'We have grown enough to again be friends' THIS says SO much for you both~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Brad_Smith Member
since 2004-01-09
Posts 70Dallas, Texas |
thats an awesome story. i too have shared a similar experience. a joy to know im not the only one out there. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
We both are at fault for all that went wrong But now we’re both where we always belonged Now there’s honesty, no need for pretense We have grown enough to again be friends ~*~ You're a wise woman, m'dear... |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
With sadness we may find wisdom, and with wisdom we may find sadness. At least you're only one-for-two.... You are wise and good, and it has to be a blessing to find that you can at least reach this stage with him, if nothing more. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Suthern beloved one, YOU have such class darling one, and doesn’t it show. Stunningly well written and beautifully expressed, I can’t tell you how wonderful this poem is. I of course don’t have your class darling one and as I can’t find anything nice to say about my ex I say nothing, which stops me getting into too much trouble. Love your writing darling one you are supreme in writing hard truths, and showing how much you have grown. As I said you have style and grace, and this is the epitome of it. as always Mushy   Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Suthern, I know that feeling...of being able to see each other and not let anger nor failure rise. It took me a short time,(I guess when one says they no longer love you..you have to accept it as truth) and although I do see him every day, I can honestly say we can both be at the same place among our friends or even in public and "most of the time" (unless he's been drinking) no one would know what we went through, the hateful words and survival battles and some even wonder if we are going to be together again...NOT!!! Being "friends" takes the hurt away...rebuilds the pride, although the disappointment of his actions will always remain in my memory. Good thoughtful write hugs Maureen |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
suthern...understanding this within my own person ex story. It's wonderful to have traveled so far to find out how much growth the trip has given you. |
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Youngatheart Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333 |
Maureen.....what a lovely response |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
I see my ex ten times a year She's more trouble than Balladeer Though her cuts aren't as extensive, She sure as hell is more expensive! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I felt this. "if you won't let me fall for you |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
To raise yourself, you chose to belittle My silence gifting you with acquittal Yep,you said a mouthful! Enjoyed Sadelite |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, wow. *S* This thing kept nagging my mind this morning... and federal statutes need every bit of concentration this blonde can muster... so I finally let it take the pen long enough to get it out of my system... I never, ever expected or hoped for such kind and generous response!! I am so very grateful to each and every one of you... especially those who know this well... or hope to find the friendship again someday... something good can often survive the cruelest fires. Thank you... so very, very much! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Interesting...James |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
my ex will never grow enough to be a friend,,,,,,when I see my ex? I just feel ill.....good write Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
This stretches over a long time and shows such growth and healing. It also confirms that old tune (can't remember the artist) -- "Only love can break a heart -- only love can mend it again" -- remember that one? lol.........jo |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
James Michael: Thank you for reading. *S* Michelle: Never say never. *S* This poem covered 29 years... it's not an instant thing. *S* Thank you! *S* iliana: That's so very true! *S* Until love came into my life, I held a grudge the size of Mt. Rushmore... justified, yes... but still a barrier to finding friendship again. *S* Thank you so much! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
It's not an easy road to travel down, but it's got to be worth going there in the long run. Good for you suthern gal! I loved your poem and the heart of what matters. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Bluesy gal... Yes... it is... if only so you can put all that pain into perspective and know it's PAST and can't rule the present or destroy the future. *S* Thank you very much! *S* |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
My heart is happy for you, S It takes a woman of heart and class and strength and wisdom to be able to forgive as you have done, and to pen it so elegantly as well.The man who abused me was thankfully not my husband, and I don't believe if I ran into him on the street I could work up any civility except to cross the street and look the other way. My ex-husband, however, is my best friend and always will be. For some reason we just couldn't see eye-to-eye on things and neither of us would compromise. But put divorce papers and 30 miles between us and we get along great LOL. We spend weekends together, he checks my car's oil and puts new tires on it cause I'm broke, and I make him lasagna and pies and brownies. I think you had spine all along, dear. You just snatched the curve out of it and stood up straight  Hugs - Caroline the only man worth your tears will never make you cry |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big angel hugs) Yay! This is wonderful, sweet friend, I'm so happy that the friendship still sings on despite the tears and frustrations and misunderstandings of the failed marriage, it's always good to compromise, God Bless You Both, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Suthern, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
icequeen: Please forgive me for not thanking you sooner... your response first melted my heart and then left me smiling. *S* Thank you! M'toe: You are so kind, my friend... and I thank you very much! *S* |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Whoa! Ruth, I'm impressed. Things can come full circle. At least to those who are willing to grow. You go girl. Candid stuff with a cool ending. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
I know this very well...and you said it boldly and succinctly, Ruthie! My ex and I got to be good friends again 15 years after the divorce. He died the following year after our friendship bloomed. I go by his grave often and when I do am always reminded of the power of forgiveness. Well done, my friend...not only with the writing, but with the forgiveness. Patricia |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Larry: Thank you so much, my friend... impressing you leaves me with smiles. *S* Patricia: Thank you very much. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend... but glad you'd found your way to friendship again. *S* |
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