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Open Poetry #30
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Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326


0 posted 2004-01-06 08:35 PM


Displacement of tears that weep before a vine filled glass,  
Suffers no movement to a broken hearts cast.
Our adornment was the sharing of a completed soul,
And a communal orchard where scarlet apples seem to grow.

Your eyes were that of a little girl’s virtuousness,
In sought of protection from the world’s vindictiveness.
You beheld me as the inviolability, protector from your earthly troubles,
Only to bind me within the caverns of its foundations rubble.

Dispel my cry for the pieces of a concerto I had known,
So that I may reach for its notes and summon it as my own.
Lost in the music and cradled in a candle lit dine,
I sadly toast farewell to the hand that once held mine.

[This message has been edited by Ravenwolfvoyager (01-07-2004 06:50 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Ravenwolfvoyager - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2004-01-06 08:40 PM


Oh...such a long and difficult process to release the entwined emotions and give services to the loss of what is so special.
Your writes are so full and rich with insight and they flow, just as the rivers to the sea.
TD

McLean
Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484
state of marital bliss
2 posted 2004-01-06 08:43 PM


I never really cared for the Dooby Brothers.  Or was it "Doobie"?  Your title brought that thought to mind.

This is a really despairing write.  Beautiful, in the orchard as it is, but sad.  Your word choices are evident of a well-thought out scenario.

McLean

Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326

3 posted 2004-01-06 08:54 PM


Thank you McClean and ThisDiamond for the kind words. I sincerely appreciate the encouragement from everyone to write and the the circle of friendship that I've found here.  

(I changed the title to a more fitting portrayal of what I was attempting to convey.)

Thank you again McClean and ThisDiamond and everyone for your ongoing encouragement. Truly everyone here is a gifted writer and I am in awe to be in your company. Thank you!!  

[This message has been edited by Ravenwolfvoyager (01-07-2004 06:34 PM).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2004-01-06 09:01 PM


RWV ....I can't say it any better then TD, she has such a way with replies.  This is both beautiful and poignant, certainly enjoyed!
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2004-01-06 09:56 PM


Jeff~
WOW !!!
Such a layered penning~
Enjoyed the all of it~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
         noles1@totcon.com

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2004-01-07 10:05 AM


You beheld me as the inviolability, protector from your earthly troubles,
Only to bind me within the caverns of its foundations rubble.

And how many times has this recurred since the fall from grace? *S*

I like this so very much... excellent write!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2004-01-07 07:18 PM


Ravenwolfvoyager
Well done, enjoyed the read.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
8 posted 2004-01-07 08:08 PM


nice read
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
9 posted 2004-01-07 09:35 PM


Dispel my cry for the pieces of a concerto I had known,
So that I may reach for its notes and summon it as my own.
Lost in the music and cradled in a candle lit dine,
I sadly toast farewell to the hand that once held mine.


Jeff, this is so very beautiful,
though it is sad. It is so well written.  
Hugs  
Ethel

jaicie114
Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750
On the edge of forever
10 posted 2004-01-08 12:39 PM


RWV...absolutely and soulfully beautiful...as usual. Thank you!

Love and Light...jc

This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
11 posted 2004-01-08 01:46 AM


"You beheld me as the inviolability, protector from your earthly troubles,
Only to bind me within the caverns of its foundations rubble."

Such contrast in this poem -- from a vulnerable little girl to jailer -- and so well written.  As always, thanks for the read.


Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
12 posted 2004-01-09 08:29 PM


Hello Ravenwolf

An amazing piece of writing that touched deep inside my heart.  PIP is so much richer for having you share your talent and your heart with us.

Take care.......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

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