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Open Poetry #30

My Lovely Ghost

lovejunkie
Member

since 2003-12-31

Posts 93
Indiana

0 posted 2004-01-06 05:12 PM

(again. this is some of my old stuff. i need opinions so i can do a rewrite. thanks)

It could have been good….

The way my dreams said
The dreams that swallowed me whole
The Happily Ever After

My hand in yours
Your lips hugging mine
Whispers in my ear
I close my eyes and feel it

I wish you were always near
To have and to hold
My eyes sparkle
And shine “…forever…”

I held it all in my embrace
And in a minute it was gone
Now I look back
Wishing everyday was that way

It could have been love….

"All you need is love..." -The Beatles

wickedbeautifulpoetry
Member

since 2004-01-03

Posts 84
Indiana, USA

1 posted 2004-01-06 05:28 PM

This is good Stephy, but it isn't super strong like yours usually are.

Might use stronger words.

-katie-

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