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Open Poetry #30
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DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917


0 posted 2004-01-04 06:50 PM


When Tiredness is your Master
Talk with yourself
Nothing is the matter
But you can't let the world go free

Sleep you must
Sick of your life - a waste
Sleeping for want
Sleeping for haste
Sleeping to rid yourself of the taste

Grateful
For demand
Of loud-mouth loud braces
World is their behind

But still the tiger drags
You kissing up it's tail
Until you hit the tree
And they add another nail

© Copyright 2004 Dave Page - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2004-01-04 07:06 PM


You have a dark sense of humour!
Nice.
Love, Margherita

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-01-04 07:17 PM


Pity I am writing stuff that isn't really ready.

Last 4 lines I like, the overall scope but I can't make the rest work.

The original was verbose and boring.

Thanks for your comments but I feel you are being kind.

regards

Dave

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