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Open Poetry #30
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Rose Water
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Rose Water |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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~*~ Rocked in an easy sway I closed my eyes half asleep in familiar dreams all running together. People without faces or names came and went at their leisure drifting in and out of focus it was you, I knew but you had already gone. Alone in a crowd of strangers recognizing what isn't real I stared in disbelief but felt nothing lost but not forgotten never to dream of you again. Wavering between tears cloaked in a heavy fog seeping through cracks as if to test my will but my knees didn't buckle. Warm rain hung on my eye lashes the scent of rose water ran down a stream as far as dreams go but I couldn't get there. In my semi conscious state I made a promise to myself not to drown or allow fantasy to become bigger than I am a dangerous state of mind that holds no appeal verses reality where I am safe on my own and have the last say in heart. Emptied of my tears my voice kept to a whisper tucked in under down watching you go, thinking it strange I recognized your back and the way you walked but your face I didn't know at all. ~*~ |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Wonderful poem and powerful too. Great images. Love and hugs. Margherita  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"watching you go, thinking it strange I recognized your back and the way you walked but your face I didn't know at all." Wow!! Oh Lori...such fantastic imagery here! Very much enjoyed the read. Hugs~ In the midst of winter.. |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Lori, I love this poem. This part really stood out to me.... Warm rain hung on my eye lashes the scent of rose water ran down a stream as far as dreams go but I couldn't get there. Hugs  Ethel |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Ah, Bluesyone, this one is headed for my library straight away. hugs, Chris "At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
What a wonderful write. The last lines gave the power to the entire piece. Awesome Bluesy. TD |
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jaicie114 Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750On the edge of forever |
Oh my God, Blues...what an incredibly intense verse...whew! Thank you! It is simply....simply....amazing! Love and Light...jc This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"Warm rain hung on my eye lashes the scent of rose water ran down a stream as far as dreams go but I couldn't get there." Beautifully scripted! So eloquent. lol.......jo |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you have such strength! |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
In my semi conscious state I made a promise to myself not to drown or allow fantasy to become bigger than I am a dangerous state of mind that holds no appeal verses reality where I am safe on my own and have the last say in heart'''' there is an ache through this....powerful Lori....hearthugsssss sweet lady....luv ya ~~**~~ |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"watching you go, thinking it strange I recognized your back and the way you walked but your face I didn't know at all." How interesting that you used those words...sometimes we don't recognize the face because it's so different from what we were led to believe... Well done, Bluesy! "if you won't let me fall for you |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Excellent write, dear lady... with wonderful punch at the end. *S* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Lori "I am safe on my own and have the last say in heart." The above is strength...this is a great poem of growth, my friend. Hugs! |
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xaos Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 35 |
In my semi conscious state I made a promise to myself not to drown or allow fantasy to become bigger than I am a dangerous state of mind that holds no appeal verses reality where I am safe on my own and have the last say in heart. Familiar moments, idle promises and a lesson we never learn, I suppose if we did though we would only be lonely in the end. I love the blend of sadness and hope in this piece, very tangible and very real, nice |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
"I recognized your back and the way you walked but your face I didn't know at all." This says it all, for all of us with lost loves. Great line. Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thank you sweet Margherita~ Nancy~ It goes back to the same old thing, sometimes what we're seeing isn't really happening at all. I'm so glad you enjoyed. Ethel~ Yes, dreams are wonderful but they don't get you very far. Thank you for your sweet reply. Chris~ Thanks for making a place for me in your library. That's the nicest compliment. Hi Kathleen~ Just me and my mood poetry ya know! Thank you. jaicie~ So good to see you here, thanks for your nice reply. iliana~ you crack me up with your lol....we just gotta keep on keepin on! I can do that! Thanks for being here.Dixie~ Well that's negotiable, this is more a pep talk during a weak moment. Does that make it a wash?? Thanks, and hugs~ Dear Lauren~ Leave it to you to feel the ache, you're right, it hurts. Thankfully, I'm a fast healer. Hugs you~ Susan~ It is so nice to see you here, welcome to my nightmare. Actions speak louder than words, and I am not that far gone! Thank you, thank you~ suthern gal~ It's the old one two punch that inspired me to write this. Lots of hugs, sweetie~ Martie~ I'm getting there, slowly but surely. I appreciate the pat on the back, thank you~ Hello xaos~ Thank you for your knowing reply and honest thoughts. Never be lonely is harder than it looks sometimes. Welcome to passions, and thank you again. kayjay~ Love is what it is...heh! Thanks~ |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Lori, powerful, amazing, and beautiful as always! so good to read you this evening. take care, amy "When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter" |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
So much I could quote of your words, verse and chapter in my own life. I love the bluesy feel of this piece... A wonderful write Patricia |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thanks vandana~ you're so sweet. It's good to see you here as well. Thank you for always encouraging me Amy. Hugs~ Dear Patricia~ Poetry is like that, a weave into the life of others. I can't tell you how many times I have sat here and thought how did they know! Thank you for your nice reply. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
In my semi conscious state I made a promise to myself not to drown or allow fantasy to become bigger than I am a dangerous state of mind that holds no appeal verses reality where I am safe on my own and have the last say in heart.  no no dont stop dreaming please my blonde sister, i understand , i truly do, but i think you are still a dreamygirl like me, tho it hurts at times |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Strength comes from these things, and it shows in this poem. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
How true to life....and how sad that goodbye can be more familiar than hello. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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ambrish Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 257India |
In my semi conscious state I made a promise to myself not to drown or allow fantasy to become bigger than I am so sad and moving. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"I made a promise to myself not to drown or allow fantasy to become bigger than I am" so many great lines, so many solid thoughts. Thanks for sharing them. |
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Serra_Avatar Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 58 |
There are some lines in that piece that I see in myself. Very nice. Vivid, it brought me back to my past. |
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