navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » SEEKER (With Nothing To Find)
Open Poetry #30
Post A Reply Post New Topic SEEKER (With Nothing To Find) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
alan6501
Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89
PA

0 posted 2004-01-03 02:46 AM



A SEEKER
(WITH NOTHING TO FIND)

Charged with a crime that’s not illegal by law
I dug too deep and was bound to fall
Finding out about you only straining to find more
That is the point; I found what was there
A desperate desire for a longing stare

You are a mover, never finding your home
I am a seeker, never knowing what I yearn
These traits were never meant to collide
And this front will never be able to hide
I was seeking something that I hadn’t lost

Memories can haunt like a burden
And leave bitter remnants of dreams
Flames can burn and temporarily scar
Making me believe that I loved you from afar
Your face raging internally like quiet screams

So I’m left with only the taste of your flesh
And how it feels to vainly obsess
Over something that I never held
That is the point; I found what was really there
A desperate desire for a longing stare

-Alan Stallsmith

Please tell me what you guys think!

© Copyright 2004 Alan B. Stallsmith - All Rights Reserved
wordwizard
Member
since 2003-09-08
Posts 483
on the way to next world
1 posted 2004-01-03 04:07 AM


welcome! interesting to read, the form is good..stanzas might parallel each other in rhyming scheme but that's up to you and not a prerequisite to poetry writing


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-01-03 04:45 AM


nice write...I've been on both sides of what you write about. It's hard either way.

Welcome to Passions!

alan6501
Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89
PA
3 posted 2004-01-03 12:54 PM


Thanks for the feedback! It's part of what makes writing poetry so interesting. It helps sometimes to have others view your own work.
wordwizard
Member
since 2003-09-08
Posts 483
on the way to next world
4 posted 2004-01-03 06:41 PM


Posting is a two way street so it helps when you comment on other poems as well. Someone may learn from you too!


martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
5 posted 2004-01-04 07:51 PM


amazing write. many words of insight here
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2004-01-04 07:57 PM


enjoyed this perspective on seeking/finding
alan6501
Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 89
PA
7 posted 2004-01-05 12:33 PM


Once again, thanks for the feedback. And by the way, I have been posting about others' poems as well. I am particularly enjoying the poems by Enchantress.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » SEEKER (With Nothing To Find)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary