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Open Poetry #30
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j_123321
New Member
since 2003-12-27
Posts 7


0 posted 2004-01-01 05:33 PM


This poem is all about how people try so hard to improve everything that they seem to be, unwittingly, creating a further distance to fall. I hope people will take the time to leave their comments. Thanks.


Digging Lower By Flying Higher

In life, sometimes we fly too high.
To know how far we can reach, to see a limit to the sky,
But the more we strive and the higher we endeavour to go,
We open up new unspeakable chasms and dangers below,
Where all our fears from all the years,
Hide like beasts to reveal our tears.

At this time of reflection and self-inspection,
A scarier fact has come under detection,
Because I realise that it is not the highs,
Nor the lows that fuel my fear,
But the fact that I do not know what will come with the following year.

© Copyright 2004 j_123321 - All Rights Reserved
DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

1 posted 2004-01-01 06:03 PM


Go for it in the meaning.
I started writing long poems and I still enjoy it because it feels right and my poems are written for an audience.
Every poet interacts and we dont like it.

My welcome to you.

Dave

Michelle_loves_Mike
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2004-01-01 06:22 PM


good write,,,Icarus is a prime example,,,,we strive so hard,,,so high,,,that the goal we are reaching for,,,can be the fall we fear
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
3 posted 2004-01-01 06:24 PM


Enjoyed the read.  One thought though, don't explain your poems, until asked.  Let the reader gather the information from the read and decide what it says for themselves, and their comments will tell you whether they got it right or not - then you can adjust their view as to what you were trying to say, if necessary.

Welcome to passions and look forward to you next write...

jwesley

P.S. Nothing disrespectful meant or implied here.

[This message has been edited by jwesley (01-01-2004 06:27 PM).]

j_123321
New Member
since 2003-12-27
Posts 7

4 posted 2004-01-02 06:57 AM


thankyou for your comments because then I know what to put on here! :-)
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-01-02 11:53 AM


well, that makes me feel better about being in a hole
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